


unseen corners

by badAquatic, orphan_account



Series: Trailerstuck [23]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human/Troll Society, F/M, Family Secrets, Illustrated, M/M, Teen Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-08
Updated: 2013-05-08
Packaged: 2017-12-10 18:28:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/788860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badAquatic/pseuds/badAquatic, https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eridan and Sollux come to a difficult decision. Then Karkat and Sollux go ghost hunting and discover a few more things about the past than they wanted to know. </p><p>Takes place immediately after "come as you are" and "hive is where the vascular pump is".</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. a roll of the dice

**== >Sollux: Realize you gambled and you lost**

 

You officially don’t start to panic until Eridan starts violently vomiting. You manage to get most of it out the window and the rest in a bucket. Afterwards, the seatroll is too woozy to even crawl out of bed. You have a foggy recollection of last night’s events—Eridan sending you a distressed message, him arriving at your trailer freaking out, weed, and then…oh fuck. Fuck. _Fuck_.

Well, the damage has been done and judging by how Eridan won’t look you in the face, he knows it too. You try to make the best out of a bad situation by cleaning. You help Eridan shower since he’s too sick to his stomach to do it himself. You toss the sheet in the laundry pile. When you help Eridan back to bed, he’s pale. You sit next to him.

It’s damn awkward for a few minutes. You speak first, “It’s up to you, okay?”

“Technically, it’s yours…” Eridan grunts.

“Yeah, but it’s _your_ body. You’re the one who’s going to have to push it out or get the… procedure.”

You see a quiver of discomfort go through Eridan because he knows what ‘the procedure’ would entail. “Abortions are expensive, Sol. I’d be sinking half a grand to get it done...”

“You could ask Damara. She’s a sacred prostitute and probably knows how to get rid of an… unwanted pregnancy.” When you mention this, you see Eridan cringe. “What?”

“I…I don’t know how _safe_ that would be. You hear stories about people who’d take alternate ways of aborting and end up poisoning themselves; like that guy in Calston or that girl in Dadlas…”

“So what do most sacred prostitutes do?”

“I think…” Eridan mutters, “…I think they sell the eggs to the black coats.”

“Isn’t that shit illegal?”

Eridan nods. “Yeah, but it doesn’t mean it ain’t gonna happen. I’ve seen the black coats hover close to Damara’s house. I think she’s sold eggs to them in the past. Don’t know what they do with it… but I… I don’t know if _I_ could do it… j-just hand my kid over...”

“That’s why there’s a lot of money involved.”

You know the black coats pay at least ten grand an egg; even more for purpleblood eggs. You always had a theory they were rogue scientists from the Amethyst Institute; rounding up troll eggs to experiment on. You heard under the Institute, there’s a thousand-mile track of secret government laboratories. 

Of course that’s just a rumor.

“You know…” you mutter, “…you could just… _keep_ it.”

Eridan looks at you. “ _What_?”

“You could kee—”

“No way in fucking hell I’m _keeping_ it!” Eridan growls, showing you his thin narrow teeth. “I’m not going to become a _joke_!”

“Who’s going to make fun you?”

 _“Everyone!_ Everyone’s going to… to just… just _look_ at me and see how badly I fucked up everything… and I just…”

Oh gods; those violet tears just make the awkwardness in this room return and it brought pals. You sigh and wipe at his face. You end up holding him and you wonder if this is a kismesistude no-no or not. Then you remembered that (unlike the idiots writing your run-of-the-mill rom-com) kismesistude is about rivalry and respect as well with hate. It’d be untrollian of you to ignore Eridan when he’s upset and it’d be downright _dickish_ to mock him when he’s at his lowest.

You put your arm around the seatroll as he lets out some truly heart wrenching sobs.

“Alright, alright, Eridan. Calm the fuck down.” The sobbing really is terrible. You wonder how long he’s been holding this misery in. You know the situation with Dualscar can’t be helping and you already know Eridan has issues with confrontation and asking for help. “Come on, Eridan. Cheer the fuck up; it’s not the end of the world…”

 _“Yes it is!_ I fucked so many guys…I could have been knocked up all along…y-you might not even be the father… _”_

Dear gods; he overreacts to drama worse than _Karkat_ does. “Eridan, take a deep breath. You’re not the first or the last troll to get knocked up by accident. At least you’re _seventeen_ and not _fourteen_.”

Eridan wipes at his puffy eyes. “…thought you hated me, Sol. All this fucking time you hated me…”

You roll your mutated eyes. “Yeah, I hate you, fishlips, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna kick you when you’re down.”

Eridan takes a deep breath and flops on the daybed. Crying’s exhaustive and the seatroll looks like he’s been running on fumes. When was the last time he had a proper meal? You stroke his skinny back and you can feel his ribs. 

“Just take a deep breath…” you say.

Eridan swallows, sniffling. “I… oh gods, Sol.” He looks up at you, still teary eyed. “I-I left my grandfather in the bathtub. Oh gods… h-he might be…”

“Eridan, it’s okay.” you say quickly before he starts another sobbing fit, “I’ll talk to Cronus. He’ll take care of it.”

“C-Cronus… I haven’t talked to Cronus in… so long…”

You ease off the bed. “Just get some rest, okay? I’ll take care of things.”

Eridan grumbles and rolls over. You go to Terezi’s room to borrow her blanket. You tuck Eridan in and make sure he’s comfortable. The seatroll is shivering now. You grab your AR goggles off your desk and turn on Trollichum. You don’t have Cronus’s chumhandle but with a little snooping around the local Trollichum servers, you find it. You’re used to hacking and manipulating after all. You just hope Cronus is awake right now.

 

\--twinArmageddons[TA] began trolling cursoryAquarium[CA]!--

 

TA: hey, cronu2. you there?

CA: yeah im here but vwho are you?

TA: my text ii2 yellow and ii’m talkiing coherently. who el2e iin the fuck could iit be?

CA: sollux? vwhat the hell are you doing talking to me for?

CA: vwait, did something happen to mituna?

TA: thii2 ii2 about about eridan. you know. your 2on.

TA: or diid you forget?

CA: …i didnt forget about him.

TA: 2eems that way two me. when wa2 the la2t tiime you talked two hiim or vii2iited? miituna miight be a moron but he 2tiill worriie2 about me.

CA: dont fucking guilt trip me. i knowv im a shitty parent and a shitty troll and i dont need no reminders. schoolboards already laying into me about shit.

CA: vwhat the fuck do you want?

TA: dual2car wants two be culled.

CA: …

CA: …seriously?

TA: 2eriiou2ly.

CA: fuck.

CA: vwheres eridan?

TA: at my place. he freaked the fuck out when dual2car wanted eriidan two cull hiim and came here. he’2 been wiith me all niight. 

CA: alright then. ill take care of this. you just keep eridan at your place.

TA: for how long?

CA: just keep him there until i say the coast is clear. shit might take a vwhile but until then he cant come to the trailer or things could get… messy.

TA: what? why? what are you even doiing?

CA: seatroll business. its complicated and you vwouldnt understand.

TA: ugh. fiine but you owe me biig.

CA: i knowv kid. ill do something about it later. just keep vwatching after my boy alright?

TA: yeah 2ure.

 

\--twinArmageddons[TA] ceased trolling cursoryAquarium[CA]!--

 

You’re not looking forward to this but it shouldn’t be too hard keeping Eridan here. At least you can make sure he’ll be fed. You leave the bedroom and find Mituna rummaging through the fridge.

“Mit,” you grumble (it’s too awkward to call Mituna your father when he acts no older than you), “what are you even _doing_?”

Mituna yawns. “Fucking hungry and there’s nothing to eat! Fucking starving here!”

“We got poptarts at least. Mom goes shopping around three.”

“We only got blueberry and blueberries fucking _suck_ …!” Mituna whines. “Don’t even got strawberry with the fucking sprinkles!”

“Then wait until Mom goes shopping.”

Mituna groans and grabs a Mountain Dew, walking to the living room. He’s probably going to play Huskshock. You got him the boxset of Huskshock, Huskshock 2, and Huskshock Infinite for Winter Holiday.

The downside to Mituna’s discovery is that Eridan’s going hungry. You get him two poptarts to tide him over.

While you’re walking to the bedroom, your AR glasses chime. 

 

\--carcinoGeneticist[CG] began trolling twinArmageddons[TA]!--

CG: OH MY GOD.

TA: what the hell.

TA: kk, iit2 liike 2iix iin the morniing and 2aturday. you’re u2ually pa22ed out untiil liike twelve. what giive2?

CG: OH MY FUCKING GOD.

TA: kk calm the fuck down and tell me what2 goiing on.

CG: WELL, FOR ONE, MY HEAD FEELS LIKE I EMPTIED OUT MY BRAIN AND STARTED FILLING IT WITH HORNETS AND BROKEN CEMENT.

TA: why i2 that?

CG: I DRANK TWO CANS OF FOUR LOKO AT VRISKA’S PARTY.

TA: what?!

TA: where diid you get your hand2 on four loko? that 2hiit fuck2 you up! how diid you handle two can2 wiithout pa22iing the fuck out?

CG: I DON’T KNOW. PROBABLY THE SAME VANTAS GENES THAT KEPT KANKRI FROM DYING AFTER DRINKING BLEACH.

TA: he drank bleach?

CG: YEAH. MOM HAD TO SPEND ALL NIGHT IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM UNTIL THEY PUMPED HIS STOMACH.

TA: why diid he do that?

CG: HOW IN FUCK SHOULD I KNOW WHAT GOES THROUGH THAT ALCOHOL SOAKED SPONGE OF HIS? OR WAS ALCOHOL SOAKED SINCE HE’S SOBER AS AN ORTHODOXIAN NUN THANKS TO YOUR SISTER.

TA: ugh don’t fuckiing remiind me of that.

CG: WHAT? WHY? SHE’S YOUR SISTER.

TA: ii’m not iin the mood to get iinto iit riight now.

TA: why are you even me22agiing me?

CG: UH. WELL… I THINK I’M PALE WITH YOUR SISTER.

TA: oh. weiird.

CG: ALSO I MIGHT HAVE SLEPT WITH HER.

TA: WHAT?!

CG: DON’T FREAK OUT! WE WERE BOTH CONSENTING AND SHE FINALLY FORGAVE ME FOR WHAT I DID!

TA: that doe2n’t give you a free pa22 on my big 2ii2ter! why are you even telliing me thii2?! 

CG: I DON’T KNOW! I’M KIND OF IN AN AWKWARD SPOT TOO! I JUST SLEPT WITH MY DAD’S MATESPRIT!

TA: ugh. what ii2 wiith you mutantblood2 and ju2t 2preadiing your quadrant2 around liike you’re fiilthy hippiie2 from the 2ummer2end?

CG: MUTANTBLOODS DO NOT “SPREAD THEIR QUADRANTS AROUND”. THAT’S A STEREOTYPE.

TA: the hell iit ii2. every mutantblood at 2chool eiither ha2 two people iin theiir quadrant2 or doe2n’t beliieve iin them.

CG: LIKE YELLOWBLOODS HAVE EASIER QUADRANTS. WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH FEFERI AND YOU?

TA: iit2 2tiil compliicated, okay?

CG: ALRIGHT, MR. COMPLICATED. I HOPE YOU DIDN’T FORGET ABOUT OUR AGREEMENT TO GO TO DARKLEER MANOR NEXT FRIDAY.

TA: yeah ii know. ii’m goiing two enjoy watchiing you pii22 your pant2 iin fear when a rat rubs agaiin2t your leg2.

CG: AND I’M GOING TO MAKE SURE I HAVE ROOM IN MY CAMEREA TO TAKE PICTURES OF YOU FREAING OUT WHEN A SPIDER MAKES A WEB INBETWEEN YOUR STUPID DOUBLE HORNS!

TA: yeah, yeah. we’ll 2ee. have fun dealiing wiith kankrii after you fucked hii2 mate2priit.

 

\--twinArmageddons[TA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist[CG]!--

 

You sigh. Looks like that’s going to be another issue you’ll have to deal with. Immediately, you get another message.

 

\--gallowCalibrator[GC] began trolling twinArmageddons[TA]!--

GC: 4HHHHHHH!

GC: SOLLUX!!

TA: hold on let me gue22.

TA: you 2lept wiith kk and you freaked out about iit ju2t now and you’re hiidiing iin the bathroom becau2e you’re not sure what two tell kankrii becau2e that’2 hii2 2on and you’re hii2 mate2priit?

GC: W3LL

TA: and you’re pretty 2ure you’re pale for karkat now whiich ii2 weiird becau2e you’ve alway2 been flu2h for hiim and you know he’2 probably pale for 2omeone el2e but iit happened thii2 way

GC: SOLLUX

TA: and now you’re not 2ure iif thii2 iis ju2t a pa22iing thiing or iif iit2 a genuiine pale that you were meant two be wiith kk 2iince iit miight be unbalanced and

GC: SOLLUX!! >:[

TA: oh 2hiit 2orry tz. been dealiing wiith drama for the past day 2o jumpiing on thiing2 ii2 becomiing a habit ii gue22.

GC: 1S 1T TH4T WHOL3 F3F3R1 SOLLUX D34L GO1NG ON :?

TA: uh… 2orta.

GC: SOLLUX 1 KNOW YOU FLUSH F3F3R1 4ND YOU H4T3 3R1D4N BUT M4YB3 YOU SHOULD JUST G1V3 YOURS3LF 4 L1TTL3 D1ST4NC3 FROM TH3M 1F 1T BOTH3RS YOU TH1S MUCH 4BOUT WH4T H4PP3N3D

GC: ST4Y1NG 4ROUND TH3M 1SNT GO1NG TO M4K3 TH3 S1TU4T1ON 4NY B3TT3R

TA: tz iit2 not a biig deal and ii don’t want two have thii2 conver2atiion again 2o let2 ju2t drop iit okay?

TA: are you 2tiill moving iin wiith kk?

GC: WH4T?

TA: kankrii ii mean.

GC: YOU N33D TO STOP US1NG JUST TWO 1N1T14LS TO R3F3R TO P3OPL3 1T G3TS CONFUS1NG!

TA: liike your typequiirk is any easiier two read, 2ii2. why do you even type liike that?

GC: WH3N 1 LOST MY V1S1ON GR4NDM4 R3DGL4R3 S41D TH1S W4S HOW TH3 BL1ND PROPH3TS OF 4LT3RN14 WROT3 4ND 1T R3M1NDS M3 OF H3R TOO

GC: K1ND OF L1K3 WHY K4N4Y4 US3S OLD F4SH1ON3D WORDS B3C4US3 H3R GR4NDMOTH3R US3D TH3M

TA: ii wii2h 2he diidn’t. niinety percent of the tiime ii have no iidea what 2he’2 2ayiing. ii have no idea what a ‘auricular 2ponge clot’ ii2.

GC: TH3YR3 YOUR 34RS SOLLUX

GC: DON’T YOU R3M3MB3R GR4NDM4 R3DGL4R3 THR34T3N1NG TO BOX YOURS B3C4US3 OF YOUR “S4SSY 1GNOR4NC3 TUNN3L”

TA: ii remember her whackiing me wiith a cane and cha2iing miituna around on 2iight.

GC: Y34H GR4NDM4 D1DNT L1K3 D4D

TA: 2he pretty much wrote her own wiill ju2t 2o that 2he could tell miituna two go fuck hiim2elf. 

TA: 2o are you done freakiing out about kankrii yet?

GC: Y34H 1 TH1NK SO

GC: 1 JUST R34L1Z3D TH4T UNL3SS YOU’R3 P4SS3D OUT YOU C4N H34R 3V3RY NO1SE 1N TH1S TR41L3R. 1M MOV1NG 1N SO 1 M1GHT 4S W3LL G3T US3D TO 1T.

TA: ugh.

GC: WH4T?

TA: nothiing.

TA: ii gotta go paciify dad. he’2 throwiing a fiit cau2e he diied iin the game by acciident agaiin.

GC: OH YOU B3TT3R GO DO THAT

GC: T4LK TO YOU L4T3R, SOLLUX

TA: alriight, 2ii2.

 

\--twinArmageddons[TA] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator[GC]!--

 

Your father isn’t flipping the fuck out over anything though. He’s usually in a tranquil state in the early mornings.

You just really don’t want to talk about the subject of your sister moving in with an ex-alcoholic and well known violently angry troll.

You watch TV with your father and work on your coding. Eridan sleeps the entire time.


	2. about last night

**== >Sollux: Be the hungover mutantblood**

 

You are now Karkat and every muscle in your body is aching but your head is the worst case with its relentless pounding. Even the gentle morning light is painful to you. You groggily put down your iHusk and stumble out of what (was) your bedroom. You have no idea where Terezi went but most likely the bathroom if she’s hiding out. You scan the area for Kankri, hoping not to get a frying pan to the head. In case of emergency you make a note of all the exits in case you have to make a hasty retreat.

You hear clattering in the kitchen and peek. Kankri is at the counter, mixing things in a bowl. You’ve never seen him cook before. It was always Cronus who managed everything in the house when he could. You wonder if you’ve been transported into one Cronus’s retro sitcoms.

Kankri looks at you and smiles. “Karkat! What’s wrong? You look like you were just told you only have a few months to live.” You wince at his voice and He whispers, “Oh, I’m sorry. You’re probably still hungover. Do you want something to eat? I’m making pancakes.”

“Um,” you mumble, “what are you…I mean do you know…”

“That Terezi and you played pelvic pinochle last night?” You blush and Kankri rolls his eyes, “Karkat, I might be an alcoholic but my sponge doesn’t have _that_ many holes.”

You look down, “I-I’m sorry. It was a…a spur of the moment thing and I shouldn’t have done that—”

Kankri smiles, “Karkat, it’s okay.”

“It… it is?”

Kankri pours pancake batter into a sizzling pan, “I spent most of my time with the bottle that I completely ignored you for most of your life. At least you’ve found comfort in Terezi and you’re friends again. She missed you dearly.”

“She… did?”

Kankri smiles, “That’s the thing about matespritship, son. There are things you can tell about a person; hidden things you just _know_. I’m sure you get that feeling with Strider.”

“Uh,” you say, because Strider’s pretty complex; you have no idea what sets off his bad moods. Once he’s like that, only Jake can seem to talk to him. You never understood why humans don’t have moirails in their culture when they obviously need them.

“So calm down, Karkat. It’s not a big deal to me what happened between Terezi and you; as long as you’re both happy, I don’t care who you sleep with. If Terezi even wanted more than one person in her quadrant, I’d be fine with that too.” 

“Ew, _Dad_ ,” you grumble, “don’t be such a hippie or people will start thinking we’re going to move up north to some island.”

Kankri starts flipping the pancakes. “It’s not a ‘hippie’ way of thinking, Karkat. Aranea can tell you that not all trolls within the vast scope of troll culture practice quadrants. The East Beforans didn’t but they were mostly wiped out by the Condesce. The Signless also preached about a quadrantless lifestyle.”

“You mean grandpa?”

You see Kankri’s arm twitch. He says in a low even tone, “I consider your… grandfather… and _the_ _Signless_ to be two very different people.”

“Why?”

Another twitch. “I have my reasons. Now. Go get Terezi. Breakfast is on the way and I’d rather not keep her waiting for it.”

“But—”

“ _Go_.”

That’s a command and you’re lucky Kankri is sober because otherwise he would have already thrown something. You walk to the bathroom and knock the door.

“Rezi?”

“Uh,” comes the voice, “I’m just… I’ll be out in a minute!”

“He’s not mad, Rezi.”

The door opens. Terezi’s not wearing her glasses and her hair is a mess. You can’t help but look at the scars around her damaged eyes. You never understood why troll eyes are colored the way they are; they’re orange when healthy, pale-yellow when sick, and red when damaged. What kind of deity makes their creatures candy corn themed?

“He’s not?” Terezi asks.

“He’s making us pancakes.” He chuckles.

Terezi frowns. “Kankri is making… _pancakes_?”

“Yeah; there something wrong with that?”

That’s when the awful burnt scent wafts from the kitchen. You see the look of dread on Terezi’s face and whisper, “…he’s never cooked a day in his life?”

“Oh, he’s cooked.” Terezi whispers back, “ _Grandma_ _Maryam_ taught him.”

_“Oh god.”_

You’ve heard the horror stories about Grandma Maryam’s cooking. You’ve always had a theory that the reason the Grand Highblood and Kurloz’s immune systems are so fortified is because he had to stomach the jadeblood’s legendary _awful_ cooking. She preferred the traditional Alternian method of cooking… and the traditional method was either to eat things raw, fry it until it was burnt, or stuff it inside of something else. (Though even by Alternian standards the food must have been hard to stomach)

Time for a hasty retreat. You rush to Cronus’s room and pull on the shirt and skirt you tossed off in the heat of passion last night. “Think I’d rather take Young British cooking over this.”

“You can’t leave me here alone to stomach this!” Terezi growls.

“The hell I _can’t_!”

You run the hell out of the mobilehive. You run across the street and into the Strider trailer, only to realize your keys are in the pocket of your pants that you no longer have.

You pound on the door and Jake opens in, yawning.“Karkat? What are you doing here and… _why_ are you wearing a skirt…?”

You glance down at your skirt and sigh, tugging it down. “Yeah; party sort of got out of control. Let me in before someone sees me like this, okay?”

Jake steps aside as you walk into the trailer. You see Dirk asleep on the couch, wrapped in a blanket. “Must have been a wild party.”

“Yeah, but my head’s fucking pounding…” you grunt and make your way to the bedroom.

Strider is wrapped up in his sheets. You climb into bed next to him. It’s odd seeing Strider without his trademark shades on. There are lines of darkened skin where the glasses usually sit, especially along the bridge of his nose. His white hair is a mess and you chuckle, knowing that despite his composure Coolkid Strider always sleeps in a very relaxed and uncool fashion. You get under the blankets, squeezing your eyes to blot out the sun streaming through the window. It’s looking to be a warm summer day.

Sleeping Strider is too tempting and you kiss his throat. The human opens one eye and yawns, “…mmm… kitty finally came home after a night of running around with all the other tomcats?”

You headbutt the human, “You make it sound like I need to be neutered.”

“You do.” Dave glances down. “Are you wearing a skirt?”

“I hurled all over my pants and shirt so Kankri changed me into this number. I think I got spare pants around so just…” You glare at him, “ _Strider_.”

The albino is smirking, “What?”

“Why is your hand pulling my skirt up?”

“No reason.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, Strider. You were the one telling me not to jump your bulge and now your hands are roaming around like you own— _hey!”_

“Like I own you? I’m pretty sure I already paid the mortgage on your house sized rump.”

“My glute is not house sized!”

“Condo sized?”

“ _No_!” You nip his ear with a low growl, “Gods, I just want to sleep. I’m still trying to deal with that Four Loko in my system.”

“Fine, you big purring cat. You can be lazy all day long with a hangover. And you need a haircut. Your hair’s all over the place and in my face.”

“My hair’s fine.” you mutter, shutting your eyes.

“Your hair’s more scraggily than that cat Nitram is keeping.” You hear the buzz of the alarm next to Strider’s bed and wince. Great. Just what you needed to have blaring in your ear, “Is that the alarm?”

“Obviously…” you grumble, trying to cover your ears.

“ _Shit_!” Dave sits up, letting you flop on the bed. He scrambles over you and you squint at the frantic human and his black and red crow boxers. 

“Nice boxers, Strider.” you smirk.

“Shut up. I have to get ready for work. If I’m late, there goes my promotion.”

You yawn and pull the sheets closer to you. “You work?”

“Yeah, I told you already. I work at Starboons during the summer and its summer _now_ which means I’m going to be late for my first day of _work_! _Fuck_!”

Strider runs out of the room. At least you don’t have to worry about rushing off to work. You had one job last summer and it ended in horrible disaster. You yawn again and prepare to sleep off your hangover. 

An hour later, your sleep is interrupted by a loud vibrating noise. You sit up and look around. You see your iHusk (that you left at home for the fear of theft at the party) is vibrating on the dresser next to Strider’s alarm. You pick it up and look at the screen.

 

\--arachnesGrip[AG] began trolling carcinoGeneticist[CG]!—

AG: KARKAT VANTAS YOU FUCKING ASSH8LE!!!!!!!!

AG: I H8 YOU SO FUCK8NG MUCH RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!

CG: WHAT.

CG: WHAT IN THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

AG: OH MY GOD ARE YOU THAT FUCKING DENSE?!

AG: DO YOU EVEN REMEM8ER LAST NIGHT?!

CG: UHH…

AG: OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU DON’T!

 

You try to recall last night’s events through your pounding headache. Alright, you went to Vriska’s party. You desperately tried to apologize to Terezi and failed. Your poor choices continued as you drank Four Loko, then you… oh gods. Everything is blur but you do remember the smell of Vriska’s skin and hearing her moans. You feel the blood drain out of your face.

 

CG: OH MY GODS.

CG: DID I… DID WE…

CG: OH MY GODS, VRISKA, I’M SO SORRY.

AG: What????????

CG: I’M SO SORRY. I’M SO SORRY! I DRANK TOO MUCH AND THEN WE… OH GODS, I’M SO SORRY!

AG: Karkat, what are you talking a8out?

AG: I mean yeah we had sex 8ut why are *you* the one flipping out?

CG: BECAUSE I WAS DRUNK AND I PROBABLY… WELL… YOU KNOW…

CG: I… I’M SO SORRY.

AG: What?!

AG: No!

AG: Oh my god, Karkat, you didn’t rape me.

 

Even seeing that word makes you wince.

 

CG: BUT I WAS DRUNK.

AG Yeah, you were 8lasted out of your skull 8ut I went along with it. I was stone cold so8er and in heat.

CG: …

AG: Karkat, stop freaking out!

AG: It’s not a 8ig deal! It’s not like this is the first time we did anything together!

CG: YEAH BUT WE WERE LIKE SIX WHEN WE KISSED! THIS IS DIFFERENT! 

CG: THIS IS LIKE LEVEL 900 OF BASIC TOUCHING. ITS NOT EVEN IN THE SAME FUCKING CATEGORY OF WHAT WE DID WAY BACK WHEN.

AG: Ugh, stop making this a8out you and your freaking out! You didn’t force yourself on me and that’s not why I message you.

CG: ITS NOT? WHAT FOR THEN?

AG: 8ecause after we fucked I don’t feel good!

AG: Y’know!

CG: YOU DON’T FEEL…?

CG: OH.

CG: OH FUCK.

AG: I need someone to go into Walgreens for me

CG: WHY CAN’T YOU GO IN?

AG: 8ecause I don’t want everyone I know looking at me and judging me and realizing what’s pro8a8ly happened to “yet another slutty troll” and Loretta 8uck works at Walgreens and she has HUGE FUCKING MOUTH. Remem8er when Leanne caught gonorhhea and everyone knew 8ecause she told Loretta 8uck?!

CG: WHICH LEANNE? TROLL LEANNE, HUMAN LEANNE, OR CROCODILE LEANNE?

AG: It doesn’t matter which one!!!!!!!!

AG: There’s six of them in our school!!!!!!!!

CG: ALRIGHT, CALM DOWN. I’LL GO INTO WALGREENS. I’M ALREADY A MUTANTBLOOD SO IT DOESN’T MATTER. I’VE ALREADY BEEN JUDGED TO HELL AND BACK. JUST LET ME PUT ON SOME PANTS.

AG: Why are you not wearing pants?

CG: …ITS COMPLICATED.

AG: I 8et it is for a pervy mutant8lood.

CG: I AM NOT ‘PERVY’!

AG: Are too! You always tried to kiss me after that first time!

CG: OH, AND LIKE YOU FUCKING DIDN’T! WE USED TO GO TO OUR SHITTY LITTLE ‘CLU8HOUSE’ TO DO HOMEWORK AND END UP ‘PRACTICING’!

AG: Oh you *would* remem8er that, you giant perv!

CG: I AM NOT A GIANT FUCKING PERV!

CG: JUST DRAG YOURSELF OVER HERE WITH YOUR MUTATED EYE AS WELL!

AG: My eye isn’t mut8ted!

CG: WHATEVER!

\--carcincoGeneticist[CG] ceased trolling arachnesGrip[AG]!—-

 

You have to go searching through the hamper for something to wear since you haven’t done laundry. The jeans are wrinkled and a bit musty but it should do well for a quick stop off to Walgreens. While you’re still tugging on a shirt, Vriska pulls up to the mobilehive in Aranea’s hovercar. You rush out and climb in. You look at Vriska, who is wearing her usual tank top and shorts, and looking just as frazzled as you are. The air in the car is tense as Vriska drives to Walgreens on East End Way.

Vriska waits in the car while you quickly enter the store. A pregnancy test isn’t too hard to find. They keep the cheap ones right up front with everything else nowadays but you don’t need cheap. You need accurate.

You spend eight dollars on a box of pregnancy tests, knowing you might need them down the road because you never know what’ll happen next time your heat cycle kicks up, and some aspirin for your hangover. As Vriska predicted, Loretta Buck is at the cash register chewing and popping her gum. She glances at you and rings you up. You try not to look her in the face.

You go to a McDonalds and get a burger and fries while Vriska uses their bathroom. You’re still badly hung-over so you need the salt; the benefit of having an alcoholic father is that you know how to quickly get over a hangover. 

When Vriska returns from the bathroom, you sit in silence for five minutes.

“So.” you mutter.

“Yeah.” is her helpful comment, frowning at the test.

“What are you going to do?”

Vriska leans back in the seat. “…I’m not fucking staying here.”

You look at her. “What?”

“You heard me.” The ceruleanblood looks at you. “Everyone here gets knocked up and their dreams fucking _die_. You never get enough state aid and you drag your entire family into a hole trying to feed another mouth. Or you can try and live with the mind numbing guilt of having an abortion or selling an egg and… _no_. _Fuck_ _that_.” She shakes her head, “Fuck that noise right its ugly face.”

“So what are you going to do?”

She looks at her iHusk, “I’m leaving this shitty trailer park is what I’m doing. They have programs and places to live if you’re a single parent. Opportunities that you can’t get here.”

“You mean in the… the _West_ _side_?”

“Yeah. So?”

“Vriska, those places are _hellholes._ The gangs _own_ them. You could get knifed or—”

 _“It beats fucking staying here!_ ” she snaps. You wince and Vriska sighs, “One more month and I’m legal. I’ll fucking survive on my own and I won’t force my Mom to take care of me.” She takes a deep breath, “I can do this.”

“I’m helping.” you say. Vriska glowers and you add, “I don’t care what you think. I’m the one who dragged you into this mess.”

Vriska rolls her eyes and starts the car. “Karkat, don’t be an idiot. You don’t even have a _job._ ”

“I’ll get one!”

“Doing what exactly?”

“I’ll get my old one back!”

“Karkat, those lusii attacked you and you had to get three rabies shots.”

You shrug. “Yeah, but it paid well at least.”

Vriska smirks as you leave the parking lot, “Your doctor’s going to enjoy all the treatments you’ll be  needing for bites and stings.”

“I’ll take animal handling tips from Equius. He seems to know his way around them.”

You get dropped off back at the Strider mobilehive. Dave has already rushed off to work (you make a mental note to find where he works and go pester him sometimes). You noticed Jake and Dirk are at their truck in the driveway.

Jake is loading it up with giant rifles and… your jaw slackens a little. You point to the monstrous gun he’s holding, “What in the fuck is _that?_ ”

“Oh, this little beauty?” Jake hefts up the rifle that’s almost as big as him. “This little number is an Astro Express rifle. It uses a smokeless powder and was originally used to hunt elephants on Old Earth, later repurposed into hunting seahorrors and monstrous lusii in the first days of colonization. This double rifle has enough stopping power to prevent harm to me in case some monstrosity decides to try charging. Of course that’s not going to be a problem if I can get the first shot in since this baby packs 20 millimeter canons and I can fire from any—”

“Jake. Hun. I love you but Karkat has no idea what you’re talking about.” Dirk sighs, putting yet another katana in the back of the truck.

Jake huffs and places the large firearm in the truck. “Oh, like _you_ don’t get excited all over your swords.”

What is with Dave’s parents and phallic symbols? “Are you guys going to war or something…?”

“Well you could say that! That is our job!” Jake chuckles, “We exterminate lusii and right now there’s a serious problem out in East New Jack!”

“East New Jack? They have lusii up there?”

“Well yeah. They don’t usually have a problem unless you get a bigger one that’s sneaky and hard to kill. It’s already killed three exterminators.” Dirk shrugs, “It’s probably a Rawhead.” 

“Rawhead…?”

“Rawhead and Bloody-Bones. You never heard that phrase? _‘Don’t you have no Sunday moans for fear of Tommy Rawhead and Bloody-Bones.’_ It was pretty much the boogeyman who’d gobble kids up if they cursed or told lies. You know; the usual ‘behave you little shit or else’ shtick. Used to say it all the time back home.”

“Where exactly are you from?”

“Oh you know; here and there. Strider’s aren’t the sort of people to stay in one place for long.”

Jake drops camping gear into the truck. “We’ll probably be gone for a while so try not to burn down the trailer. There’s plenty food in the fridge to last you three months at least.”

“How long are you planning on being gone…?” you mutter.

“We’re gone until the job is done.” Jake shrugs, “If it’s a Rawhead it’ll just be a giant enemy crab.”

Dirk climbs into the passenger side. “Jane and Roxy are most likely going to come by to check up on you both and make sure you haven’t gotten into any wacky sitcom antics, like dividing the trailer in half.”

“Uh, alright,” you mutter.

Jake finishes loading up the gear and they both drive off without another word. You enter the empty mobilehive and flop down on the couch, too tired to even go to the room. It’s been a long stressful day and you want nothing else to do but sleep right now.

However, you only get to sleep until four when Strider drags you off the couch because (according to him) you stink like sweat and alcohol and you’re long overdue for a haircut. 


	3. the here and now

**== >Karkat: Be Sollux two days later **

 

You are Sollux and you find the chore of keeping Eridan at your trailer to be relatively easy. He’s been too nauseous to crawl very far from your daybed. Mituna is not so understanding about having Eridan here though and insists on interrupting you while you’re working though.

“Sol. Sol. _Solly._ ” Mituna says. The skinny yellowblood is standing in your bedroom door.

You groan and continue looking at the walls of code. Code’s a language far more interesting than Alternian could ever be to you and a thousand times more useful. Right now you’re discerning how much money is in each bank account for your latest client and how to make sure they don’t look connected. Eridan sits on your daybed, eating a sandwich and intensely focused on his iHusk (as he’s been for the past hour or so).

“Sooooool.” Mituna says.

“What _is_ it, Mit?” Gods, it’s like having a pain in the ass older brother hovering around you.

“Why’s the whore still here?”

Eridan looks up from his iHusk. “Oh fuck _you_ , retard.”

“No way; my matesprit’s way hotter and I don’t want _STPs_.” Mituna huffs.

“I don’t have a fucking STP!” Eridan snarls.

“Oh my gods! Do _not_ start this shit again!” You snap at the both of them, taking off your AR glasses. Eridan scowls. “Mituna, Eridan’s staying here for a while so just accept it. Eridan, stop calling Mituna ‘retarded’! He doesn’t have the brain of a little kid!”

“Says you.” Eridan grumbles, “He can’t even remember where he puts his fucking _shoes_.”

“You’re the idiot whore who forgot to use fucking _protection_ …” Mituna mutters.

Eridan’s face turns three different shades of violet. “W-what? How did an idiot like you figure that out?”

“You’re not going home. _Duh._ ”

“Mituna! _Out_!” You emit a warning pulse. Mituna sulks and leaves the bedroom door. You stand up and shut it, “It’s a miracle I get _anything_ fucking done with him around.” You walk over to the seatroll. “Eridan, for fuck’s sake. If you start crying again, I’m going to punch you in the fucking arm.”

“I’m not fucking crying and I’ll hit you back if you do that!” but you can hear the warble of an on-coming cry in his voice.

You hit him in the arm once. He hits you back. You kick. He slaps. You’re just lucky Eridan didn’t smash a plate over your head or that he couldn’t set fire to your daybed. There been enough tension in the trailer to fuel three pitch relationships.

You bite his throat and lick sticky-sweet violet blood. He rips your shirt and calls you an annoying pissblood nerd. You hiss and say he’s a jamblooded wimp with a hard on for the host of Ultra Weapons.

Sweats drips off your face when you plow him. Eridan’s too enthralled to bitch about it. You know you’re going to have to work overtime tonight because you are too busy hatefucking this seatroll. When he climaxes, it’s more satisfying than all the other times you had him.

You lay there on the daybed, panting and smelling of sex and pheromones.

Eridan smirks, “This… this is _not_ helping our situation, dumbfuck.”

“It’s not like I can achieve a wriggling combo x2 by screwing you a second time, dimwit.” You trace your claw down his thigh. You purr, “I hate you.”

Eridan narrows his eyes and kisses you like a kismesis should; all teeth and biting lips. “I know.” he admits in a whisper, “You realize that you’ve just fucked me and most of the guys in New Jack City right…?”

“Great. Moment ruined.” You pull your bulges out his chilled nook. “How is it that you _don’t_ have an STP?”

“Because I don’t fuck hobos, people with _obvious_ sores on their face and I fucking _bathe_.” Eridan sits up with a grunt. “ _Fuck_. No more of that for a while.”

You grin, “Sore? I thought a well-used whore would know how to take multiple bulges.”

“Not in the same damn hole, Sol!” Eridan limps to the door.

“So you have _never_ done a threesome? Or more?” You see the blush spread across Eridan’s face and snicker, “Oh my _gods,_ Eridan. Are you trying to win Blood and Haze’s favor?”

_“Shut up!”_

Eridan leaves to go shower and probably agitate Mituna. You already act like Mituna’s moirail and you really don’t want to aupistize Eridan and him. Clubs is a bitch of a quadrant. You have no idea why Orthodoxians dedicate a whole week to it.

Unfortunately thinking of Orthodoxians reminds you of Feferi, which dampens your mood.

You look over at Eridan’s palmhusk. It’s an old model. You really should get him a new one. You bet this model doesn’t even have AR or 3D interface (which should honestly be a crime in this day and age; for fuck’s sake it’s technically the future).

You wonder who he was talking to. 

You really shouldn’t look. It’s his decision. You shouldn’t snoop…though you did drag him into this mess.

A quick peek wouldn’t hurt would it? You just want to know what decision he’s going with after all. The chatlog is long though. You’re going to have to read this quickly.

 

\--caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling cursoryAquarium[CA] at 2:00PM! -–

\--Due to conflict, cursoryAquarium will be rendered [CA2] for this conversation--

CA: hey

CA: uh

CA: howw its going mom

CA: i uh

CA2: vwhat did you do, eridan?

CA: nothing i just

CA2: stop it.

CA2: i already havwe a pretty good idea of vwhats going on vwith you lately so you might as vwell just admit the truth instead of dancing around shit like you usually do.

CA2: man up and tell me vwhats going on.

 

Damn, that’s cold Cronus. Well, you guess a parent can’t be all sunshine and happiness all the time, especially when you have kids as stubborn as Eridan and Karkat. 

 

CA: i

CA: i sort of got knocked up

CA2: yeah i knowv.

CA: you kneww

CA2: yeah eridan i knewv. ivwe seen you street vwalking around. i thought maybe you vwere just out for some fresh air but when i sawv you get into someones cars i figured it out.

CA2: vwhy did you do this?

CA: grandpa wwas sick and neither you nor mom care about him

CA: so i did wwhat i could

CA2: eridan, prostitution isn’t some glamorous life. youre not some high class concubine liwving it up in trussia or shongolia. you live in newv jack city in a fucking trailer park. the only reason you get picked out is because youre young, youre a seadvweller, and if someone vwants to abduct you and sell you to a lavwless shithole like leder or raffil, they can.

CA2: youre not a person to them. youre a piece of meat for them to stick their bulge into and then forget about.

CA: i knoww

CA: i was thinkin bout the priesthood

CA2: vwell and good but that’s dowvn the line. vwhat about your little situation?

CA: i dont knoww

CA: i thought maybe youd knoww

CA2: you should also knowv im from a different generation vwith different wvalues than your own.

CA: i dont knoww

CA: i nevver really minded listening to you or grandpa when i had no idea wwhat to do

CA2: but im wvery much against aborting, eridan.

CA2: and before you say it no its not because of your age or because vwhats inside you is a livwing because unlike the orthodoxians i dont think evwery grub is sacred or some bullshit

CA: wwell then wwhy

CA2: because youre a seatroll

CA2: and honestly? our numbers are dropping pretty rapidly in utc due to sickness, lack of proper health care, and a slowv breeding season. you havwe the advwantage of being half mutantblood.

CA: i already

CA: did things wwith fef

CA: and regretted it

CA: like a lot

CA2: vwhos kid is it? the one youre carrying?

CA: can i

CA: not say

CA2: so its sollux.

CA: …

CA2: eridan.

CA: i dont knoww

CA: i just started feeling bad now but i uh

CA2: eridan, this is middle school levwel shit. if you stupidly slept vwithout fucking protection and then feel sick, then you are obvwiously knocked up and you are an idiot and sollux is the father.

CA: i

CA: i knoww

CA: i dont think i could raise a kid though

CA: i already havve twwo that im awwkwwardly indifferent to already and they aint evven hatched yet

CA2: so put the egg up for adoption then. im not saying for you to keep it but for fucks sake eridan givwe our hemotype a fighting chance. stop being an irresponsible little kid. youre making the same stupid ass mistakes our generation made fucking anybody vwe vwant.

CA: i knoww

CA2: but that’s my opinion on the issue and unlike your grandfather im not going to force you to adhere to it.

CA: i

CA: ill think about it

CA2: first off have you even seen a doctor yet?

CA: no not yet

CA2: eridan, stop being stupid and go see a fucking doctor already. 

 

Holy shit. You have no idea what crawled into Cronus’s craw but this is bordering less on annoyed yet concerned parent and being condescending and mean. 

 

CA2: youre a fucking seatroll and evwen though you havwe mutantblood in you your pregnancy might still be really difficult. feferi has size and stamina on her side but your eggsack might be a bit on the small side like mine.

CA: if your eggsack wwas so small howw did you carry me and karkat to term

 

Actually, you’ve been wondering that yourself.

 

CA2: …

CA2: vwell

CA2: its sort of

CA2: thats something to really ask your…father about

CA: wwhy him

CA2: because i say say so. gotta go nowv. take care of yourself eridan

CA: alright mom

 

\--caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling cursoryAquarium[CA2] at 2:31PM! -–

 

Well. At least you know about Cronus’s opinion on the situation. You should probably check on him. You messaged him about Dualscar two days ago and haven’t heard anything since. Did he cull Dualscar? Did he take him someplace else? Your sister would probably know. You put down the palmhusk and put your AR goggles back on.

 

\--twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling cursoryAquarium[CA]! -–

\--cursoryAquarium is offline!--

 

TA: yo cronu2.

TA: you here?

 

To your surprise, Cronus is not there. He is actually offline. You sigh and try messaging your sister.

 

\--twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling gallowsCalibrator[GC]!--

 

TA: hey terezii.

GC: H3Y BRO…

TA: oh boy. trollaniime dots of liingeriing diialogue ba2ed doom. 

TA: what2 wrong now?

GC: UM. NOTH1NG 1S R34LLY WRONG…P3R S4Y.

TA: what do you mean? what’2 going on then?

GC: W3LL YOU S33… 1 W4S F33L1NG CRUMMY SO K4NNY M4D3 M3 GO TO TH3 DOCTOR 4G41N

TA: yeah. ii2 everythiing all riight?

GC: W3LL Y34H 3V3RYTH1NG’S 4LR1GHT BUT 1’M

TA: terezii come on. ii already know you’re knocked up. how could thiing2 get any worse?

GC: 1TS NOT WORS3 1TS JUST

GC: TW1NS

TA: twiin2?

GC: Y34H

TA: what do twiin2 have two do 

TA: oh.

GC: Y34H…

GC: 1 H4V3 NO 1D34 HOW W3’R3 GO1NG TO SUPPORT TWO MOUTHS

GC: CRONUS S4YS H3 W4NTS TO MOV3 OUT TO G1V3 K4NNY 4ND M3 TH3 SP4C3 PLUS H3 S4YS H3 W4NTS TO STR1K3 OUT ON H1S OWN

TA: you’ve been talkiing two cronu2?

GC: OV3R TROLL1CHUM

GC: H3 S41D H3 H4D TO T4K3 C4R3 OF SOM3 F4M1LY BUS1N3SS SO H3’S B33N GON3 S1NC3 S4TURD4Y

GC: H3 H4SN’T COM3 B4CK Y3T

TA: do you know where he went?

GC: H3 D1DN’T S4Y BUT K4NKR1 W4S T4LK1NG TO H1M 4BOUT R3NT1NG 4 BO4T SO 1 W4S TH1NK1NG PROB4BLY SOM3WH3R3 OUT TO S34

GC: W41T

GC: WHY DO YOU C4R3

TA: uh…

TA: no rea2on.

GC: SOLLUX COM3 ON 1’M YOUR B1G S1ST3R

GC: 1 K3PT 4 LOT OF S3CR3TS FOR YOU L1K3 TH4T T1M3 W3 W3R3 4T SUMM3R C4MP 4ND YOU THOUGHT YOU W3R3 BL33D1NG 4ND 1T TURN3D OUT TO B3 SOM3 OTH3R MUST4RD COLOR3D FLU1D >:]

TA: hey! ii thought we made iit a rule two never ever talk about that ever agaiin even under the threat of torture!

GC: L1K3 YOU’R3 TH3 F1RST K1D WHO 3V3R H4D 4 W3T DR34M 4BOUT K4N4Y4’S HOT GR4NDM4 >:]

TA: 2hut up! iit wa2 a temporary thiing!

 

Not really. There was more than one reason you were sad when Grandma Maryam died. She may have been old but she was a sophisticated older lady with great taste in clothes and… why are you even thinking about this? This isn’t what you wanted to talk about at all!

                          

TA: thii2 ii2n’t about grandma maryam and me! thii2 is about… ed and me.

GC: YOU 4ND 3R1D4N

TA: we had a piitchfliing and ii knocked hiim up. now we 2ort of have two thiink about… somethiing.

GC: SO YOU’R3 GONN4 B3 4 D4D?

TA: ii don’t know. ed’s 2tiill thiinkiing about iit.

TA: ii don’t know if ii’d make a good dad, tz. ii mean look at the example2 we had to grow up wiith. mt wa2 an abu2iive a22hole two mom untiil he burned out. now he pretty much play2 viideogame2 all day and act2 like he’2 fourteen.

GC: Y34H BUT TH4T DO3SN’T M34N YOU C4N’T L34RN TO B3 4 B3TT3R P4R3NT

GC: H3LL SOLLUX 1’M PR3TTY SUR3 1’M NOT GO1NG TO B3 4 P3RF3CT P4R3NT 4ND N31TH3R 1S K4NKR1 BUT TH3 TRUTH 1S YOU H4V3 TO 4T L34ST TRY

GC: 4T L34ST W3 KNOW WH4T NOT TO DO

TA: well iit2 ed’2 choiice.

GC: Y34H BUT YOU’R3 ST1LL TH3 F4TH3R SOLLUX

GC: WH4T DO YOU W4NT TO DO?

TA: ii… ii don’t know…

TA: grubs aren’t liike toy2. they have need2 and you can fuck them up for life iif you don’t fulfill them. ii’m gettiing paiid a lot of money for my job 2o mom wouldn’t have two work at that factory but when you factor iin a kiid…iit become2 2ub2tantiially le22.

GC: W41T

GC: HOW MUCH 4R3 YOU B31NG P41D 3X4CTLY

TA: enough.

 

You’re not about to get lectured to death by your old sister about the questionable nature of the financial coding you’re doing.

 

TA: who’2 goiing two even watch the kiid? ii’m not going two drop out of 2chool or 2top working.

GC: K4NKR1’S OFF3R3D TO W4TCH TH3M SOM3T1M3S S1NC3 H3 WORKS P4RT OF TH3 T1M3 CRONUS 1S 4LSO H3LP1NG S1NC3 H3’S MOV1NG OUT BUT S1NC3 H3 H4S 4 HOV3RB1K3 H3 C4N COM3 BY 4ND GRUBS1T

GC: BUT 1TS YOUR CHO1C3 TOO SOM3 P3OPL3 DON’T W4NT TO B3 T13D DOWN W1TH 4 K1D

TA: iit2 not that. iit2 not liike ii hate kid2. kiid2 are kiid2. they’re liittle 2hiit2 for a whiile but they grow out of it and a2 long a2 you remember that, they grow up two hate you 2liightly le22 when they hiit puperty. ii never hated mom.

GC: WH4T 4BOUT D4D

TA: …ed’2 the one ii hate the mo2t 2o ii don’t thiink ii could hate our off2priing whiich ii2 2tiill hypothetiical at thii2 poiint becau2e ii don’t know what choiice he’2 made.

TA: ii don’t thiink he’2 goiing two abort. maybe 2ell iit before he goe2 into the priesthood.

GC: WHY S3LL 1T WH3N YOU C4N PUT 1T UP FOR 4DOPT1ON THOUGH 4 S34TROLLL 3GG 1S R4R3

TA: yeah but adoptiion agenciie2 don’t pay you twenty grand when you put up an egg. 2iince 2eatroll egg2 are rare eriidan might get double that. 

GC: BUT 1TS CRU3L NO ON3 KNOWS WH4T H4PP3NS TO THOS3 3GGS

GC: 4ND WHY DO3S 3R1D4N N33D MON3Y? H3 H4S YOU

TA: you know ed. he doe2n’t want two be totally dependent on me. the only rea2on ii 2lept wiith hiim iin the fiir2t place ii2 becau2e he wouldn’t take handout2. plu2 he 2tiill need2 two fiind a place two 2tay.

TA: ii don’t exactly know what’2 goiing on wiith dual2car eiither…

GC: H3’S S1CK R1GHT

TA: more liike dyiing now. he leveled up iin 2iickne22, ii gue22.

GC: 1 SUSP3CT3D 4S MUCH CONS1D3R3D HOW ODD CRONUS H4S B33N 4CT1NG K4NKR1 S4YS H1S F4TH3R 3SP3C14LLY 4G1T4T3S H1M 1NTO B3COM1NG 4 D1FF3R3NT P3RSON OR R4TH3R TH3 P3RSON H3 W4S WH3N TH3Y W3R3 K1TS

TA: you mean an a22hole?

GC: PR3TTY MUCH YOU KNOW H3 US3D TO P1CK ON D4D

TA: yeah but mt wa2 al2o an a22hole.

TA: 2o what are you and kankrii goiing two do for money now that you have twiin2 on the way?

GC: K4NKR1 H4S 4 JOB 4T TH3 L1BR4RY NOW WH1CH 1S GOOD 1 C4N’T G3T H1R3D B3C4US3 OF MY BL1NDN3SS 3V3N THOUGH 1 S33 B3TT3R TH4N MOST P3OPL3 >:[

GC: 1 DON’T W4NT TO G3T ST4T3 41D THOUGH 1 DON’T L1K3 TH3 1D34 OF B31NG ON D1S4B1L1TY FOR TH3 R3ST OF MY L1F3 OR H4V1NG TO G3T ST4T3 41D TO SUPPORT MY K1DS 1 W4NT TO SUPPORT MY F4M1LY

GC: 1 JUST DON’T KNOW WH4T 1 COULD DO S1NC3 3V3RYON3 TH1NG 1’M 4 H3LPL3SS D3CL4W3D K1TT3N

TA: which i2 bull2hiit becau2e you’re not so much bliind as you are vii2ually impaiired. you can 2tiill ‘2ee’ ju2t not wiith your eye2. you have a pretty good memory and you can 2tiil type fa2t. why don’t you 2ee iinto becomiing a coun2elor or an admiinii2tratiive a22ii2tant?

GC: 4N 4DM1N1STR4T1V3 4SS1ST4NT

TA: you could ju2t go iin there and not make iit obviiou2 you’re vii2ually iimpaiired. iif they hiire you, they can’t fiire you because that’2 di2criimiinatiion

GC: HUH

GC: 1 N3V3R THOUGHT 4BOUT 1T TH4T W4Y

GC: 1 MUST B3 LOS1NG MY L3G4L MOJO >:[

TA: you’ve ju2t been preoccupiied wiith the grub, er grub2, and kn and moviing. you’re goiing two be a fiine mom, tz.

GC: TH4NKS SOLLUX

GC: 4LSO 1 TH1NK YOU WOULD M4K3 4 GOOD F4TH3R

GC: YOU H4V3 M3 4ROUND TO T3LL YOU TO STOP B31NG 4 DUMB4SS W1TH YOUR 3QU4LLY 4NNOY1NG Y3LLOWBLOOD OFFSPR1NG >:]

TA: we don’t know iif iit2 yellowblood yet or iif we’re even having or keepiing iit but thank2 anyway2.

GC: T4K3 C4R3 OF YOURS3LF SOLLUX >:]

TA: you two, 2ii2.

 

\--gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling twinArmageddons[TA]!--

 

You lay back on the daybed. You’re still warm and sticky from the summer heat and the genetic fluids splashed on your waist. Eridan enters the room with a towel wrapped around your waist.

“I, uh….” Eridan mutters, “…made a decision. While I was in the shower.”

“That my bulges are too bomb for you so you’ve decided to become a nun?”

“No, fuckface.” Eridan sits next to you on the daybed. “I know what I want to do with the egg.”

“Oh.” You pull off your AR goggles, “Which is…what exactly?”

Eridan drums his fingers on his thigh, “I… I’m going to sell it.”

“Alright.” You pause, “Are you sure?”

Eridan nods. “I’m a high school drop-out who lives in a trailer park, Sol. There’s nothing for me here. I’ll sell the egg, save the money, and go into the priesthood out east.”

“You could still go back to school.”

Eridan shakes his head. “What’s the point? I never cared about school in the first fucking place. I hated being there and I hated everyone in my class even more. I hated the teachers and putting up with… _everything_ to do with school.”

“That’s fucking stupid and you know it. You can’t get far without a diploma? What if you decide to leave the priesthood?” Eridan glares at you but you groan. You hate how fucking stubborn he is about his decision, “How are you even going to meet with the black coats?”

Eridan frowns. “It’s not hard. You know how they’re always snooping around the trailer park in the summer.”

“Then you better be fucking careful; egg selling is still illegal.”

“I’m a whore, Sol. I know _all about_ how to avoid the cops.”

“One of the two skills you picked up from being a whore.” you smirk, “You think you can actually handle being knocked up though? You always whine and complain about the littlest pain. How are you going to act four months from now when you’re looking ready to burst?”

“Oh my gods, shut up.” the violetblood grunts.

“You’re going to get as big as Karkat.” you slide off the bed and walk to the door.

Eridan throws a pillow at you. “Shut! Up!”

You dodge the pillow and leave the room, heading to the shower.

 

Of course you had to also break the news to your mother than Eridan is going to probably be staying. These days your mother is sicker with horrible headaches, fatigue, and trembling. Today she’s laying on the couch watching her matesprit play Blingdom Hearts. You have no idea why anyone would play the first Blingdom Hearts game, even for nostalagia. The difficulty is all over the place, the glitter is obnoxious (especially on Troll Sora who is a seatroll with fashion to make even Eridan or Feferi shirk).

You sit next to your mother. “Hey, Mom. How are you doing?”

“Alright. Headache’s gone so I’m just watching your father play his game...”

Mituna grins. “I’m in Glamour Bastion right now and I teamed up with the Beast!”

“Whoever thought it was a good idea to mash-up Final Fantasy and Disney characters must have had their finger on the button.”

“Any reason as to why we had a new houseguest, Sollux?” your mother asks.

Your mother’s always quick to the point. You mutter, “Eridan’s probably going to be staying with us for a while…”

“How long?” your mother sighs.

“Uh, about four five months or—”

 _“Oh for fuck’s sake!”_ Latula facepalms, “ _Sollux_ , I told you a thousand times about _protection_! Now you pick this as the time to _not_ listen to me?”

“We used protection!”

“No you didn’t.” Mituna pipes in, eyes glued to the screen as he makes Troll Sora bash another Blingless’s pink head in.

“Shut up, Mituna!” you growl.

“Sollux, don’t talk to your father that way.” Latula scolds. She sighs, “Do you two even know what you’re going to _do_ with the egg?”

There’s no way in hell you can tell your mother the truth, “Eridan wants to give it up for adoption.”

“Huh.” and when she says that you’re not sure if she buys that story or not, “That’s rather responsible. And you’re letting him stay here but are you two even in a quadrant?”

“ _Mom…_ ” you groan.

But in the passing week having Eridan around becomes slightly _less_ of a chore.


	4. back to the past

**== >Be the terrified mutantblood two days into the future**

 

You are Karkat. It is late Friday night and without the moon its pitch black outside. You’re prepared for your swamp adventure though. You borrowed Jake’s boots (which are actually a bit too big for you) and read up on all the New Jack City wilderness survival guides available in the mobile hive. You’ve got your thick socks, long pants, gloves, a backpack full of snacks and supplies, plus a durable as all hell camera you got for your eighth wriggling day from your grandfather. You are 100% totally ready to explore Darkleer Manor.

You are terrified out of your fucking mind.

Sollux and you decided not to meet in front of his home but along Two Boot Drive instead. You’re trespassing and your parents aren’t going to look favorably on you exploring the crumbling (possibly haunted) remains of where most of them grew up. You approach Sollux wearing your gear and see that he’s wearing a similar outfit. 

Sollux looks at you and smirks, “If we’re Ghost Hunting, I want to be Troll Egon.”

“I call Troll Bill Murray. I’ll have a career after the movie.” You toss a spray bottle at Sollux.

He catches it and looks it. “What is this?”

“A combination of pherermones and bug spray. It’ll make us invisible to the lusus for a short while but we have to hurry. It doesn’t last for very long.”

“Where did you even get this from?”

“Jake has it. He used it all the time when he was hiding from lusii in the woods.”

“Good thing you live with the Wildman, eh, Karkat?” Sollux snickers.

You roll your eyes, “Spray yourself down and let’s do this shit, _Tholluckth_.”

Sollux sprays his arm, sniffs it, and winces, “Ugh, this shit _stinks_.” He glares at you, “And don’t make fun of my lisp asshole, I’ll tell everyone you kissed Vriska back in fifth grade.”

“ _Shhh_! We do _not_ talk about that!”

Sollux finishes spraying himself down with the lusii pheromones and then tosses the bottle at you. You spray yourself down and… Captor was right on the button. This shit does smell pretty fucking horrible. You’re lucky there’s no one around to see this, or rather _smell_ this.

You toss the half-empty bottle back into the backpack and head toward the woods, feeling the road turn more liquid as you get closer to the woods. You turn on your camera, checking the sound and the nighttime footage quality.

“Why do you even have a camera? Your iHusk is a fucking camera.” Sollux asks.

“Yeah, but I don’t have enough room on there if we take a lot of footage, plus this camaera’s durable as fuck. It survived Kankri’s drunken rages twice over.” You aim the camera at Sollux, “C’mon, Sollux; show a little enthusiasm! We’re about to explore the place our parents grew up!”

“Yeah. The place where my grandfather was horribly murdered and yours probably fucked up his life.”

“Tell me that is not a million dollar movie pitch right there. If we sell the rights to the story we might be millionaires.”

Sollux rolls his mutated eyes. “If this was a horribly clichéd story then yeah; that’d totally happen.”

You squish and squelch through the mud, avoiding low hanging branches and collapsed tree trunks. The dark water is an inch above your ankles now. You hear the low growl of a lusus on the prowl; hoping they’ll walk past you.

“So tell us, Sollux—our fact guy—how big was this place in its heyday?” you ask, the camera still aiming at him,

Sollux adjusts his glasses, pretending to be incredibly snooty as he divulges the information.

“Well, cameraman Karkat—whom I only brought here to feed to the inbred cannibal perverts in the basement—this place wasn’t so much a manor as it was a compound that covered over a hundred square acres. This includes the woods, ponds, tennis court, coffee bar, and gardens. It was like a resort town for fucking and being a complete asshole to everyone.”

“Hey! There are no stories about inbred cannibal perverts in the basement! Stop turning this into a knock off _The Hills Have Eyes!_ ” You growl, “And it sounds like a pretty ritzy place to live in if you ask me. So, what happened?”

“It was really a thing that happened over time. My grandfather’s murder scared off potential newcomers and more income. Then the Grand Highblood’s rampage happened and he was locked away, so people decided to leave rather than risk more incidents like that. During this time, the swamp was starting to expand, so the cost of maintaining the place skyrocketed. The straw that broke the camel’s back was the Lomax Stock market crash a few years back. Darkleer lost all his cash along with the rest of the trolls who lived here. So he declared bankruptcy and everyone had to pack up and move. The construction company that bought Darkleer Manor went out of business so the land just sat here.”

“I think the only thing that amazes me is that they arrested the Grand Highblood for assault after so fucking long.” 

“Yeah, that’s New Jack for you. Ignore an obvious problem until some human gets killed; makes me surprised we haven’t had riots like in Leder.”

“Shit, don’t _jinx_ us like that.”

“Stop being superstitious.”

You hear a louder growl and decide its best to go silent for a while. You’re crawling with insects when you approach the rusty gate of Darkleer Manor. On each side of the gate are large horse statues that have way too much detail on the genitalia.

You shudder as you point the camera at the statues, “Ugh… horses look so fucking weird.” You look at Sollux, “And at least the GHB is locked up for good now. I heard they keep him locked up in the basement of Amethyst.”

“Sounds vaguely like bullshit.” says Sollux, “They probably keep him with the other prisoners under special restrictions; probably experiment on him.”

“Experiment?”

“Yeah; Amethyst gets its funding through drug and weaponry companies. They test pharmaceuticals and chemical and biological weapons on prisoners.”

“Chemical weapons...?”

“Seriously, KK; read the _news_.” Sollux raises his hand to force open the rusted gate. His psionics crackle around the rusting metal and they give way with a loud shriek. You see the massive mansion in the distance and hear a loud moan blow towards you.

You hold your breath when you hear the sound and glance around. You don’t see anything coming toward you. No monsters. No ghosts. Not even inbred cannibal perverts. Your foot sinks a little into the soggy earth; it’s moist but not as deep as the swamp.

“Fuck,” you grunt, ”like walking through rice pudding.”

“Don’t get stuck in the mud again, KK. Rufioh isn’t here to pull your fat ass out.”

You glare at Sollux, “I’m bigger than I was last time, you fuck.”

“You mean your ass is bigger.”

“Stop talking so much about my ass, _ass_!”

 

You continue your walk forward. The abandoned compound is full of uneven hills and sudden dips and cliffs, with trees and weeds jutting out of the ground at every angle. The tennis court is filled in with mud and water. You can tell where there used to be fancy condos and cabins that were bulldozed when the bankruptcy happened. The only thing left standing now are the mansion and a cement building with a collapsed roof from a tree falling on it.

Sollux shines his flashlight on it. “Looks like the Kit’s Club.”

“The Kit’s Club?” you ask.

“Yeah, my Mom told me about it. It’s where they’d send their kids when the adults wanted to be ‘alone’. They’d have activities there like swimming, arts and crafts, and there was a pool too.”

You shine a flashlight on the soupy ground around it, “Did this place go to hell first?”

“Yeah; a monsoon made a tree fall on it and blew out all the windows; it was beyond repair so they just closed it. Our parents were too old for it by then anyways, or they’d already been kicked out.”

A low moan echoes out the building. You decide you’ve done enough sightseeing and continue down the muddy path. You walk past the old pool which is green and scummy with algae and vines. You walk to the front door of the manor, which has a large rusting bolt over the handles.

“So… _here_ we are at the front door. It was where people entered. Through the door. And not the window.” Sollux says.

You shine your flashlight on the door so you can record getting a better look at it. “Stop being an asshol— _ahh!_ ”

You jump back and nearly drop the camera. 

“ _Holy_ _shit_!” Sollux jumps too, then glares at you. “Don’t fucking _do_ that!”

“There’s a damn face on the door!”

“What?”

Sollux shines his light on the door. There are distinctive patterns on the door that look familiar. You realize that they’re clowns; large, ghoulish looking clowns.

You grimace. “Why did it have to be fucking _clowns?”_

“I-it’s not that big of a deal. It’s not like it’s a demon or anything. It’s just… a clown.” Sollux responds but he’s trying not to look at the door. “Let’s just get inside.”

“Can you pick locks?”

“I can do something better.”

You see red-blue psionics crackle around the lock. Sollux narrows his eyes, unscrewing and pulling it apart. Eventually, the large mechanism unlocks and falls down.

Sollux flexes his fingers. “Fuck, that took a while. Thing’s rusted on the inside too.”

You tug at the handle but the door weighs as much as a purpleblood in their prime. “Where’d you learn to do that?”

“I did it for my locker all the time. I’d forget my numbers so I’d just use my psionics to undo the lock. It’s the same basic thing for most locks.”

“So how come every mind honey junkie isn’t busting up locks all over the place?” you grunt, still tugging on the door.

“Because people have gotten smart enough to figure out what materials counter psionics. Why do you think on Old Alternia the yellowbloods, rustbloods, and brownbloods were never able to rebel until the Starfall?”

You pause while you continue your tugging. “…it was the metal right? I know Alternian steel counters psionics and mental influences, just like there was certain tech you could use to enhance or unlock psionic potential. Or that’s the rumor anyways.” 

“Less rumor and more fact if you read enough… _Blood and Haze,_ Karkat! _Move_! You’re the king of weaklings!” 

“I’m not a weakling! The door is _heavy_! Kurloz probably couldn’t open it!”

“ _Move_.”

Even with psionics, Sollux has a bitch of a time getting the doors to move. He finally gets frustrated and just blasts the doors open with all his strength.

You smirk at the yellowblood but Sollux glowers at you. “Not. A. Fucking. Word.”

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay doing that? Don’t blasts take a lot out of you?”

“I’ll be fine. I usually don’t get to use my psionics.” Sollux rubs his temple, “I’ll just have a migraine and sleep in tomorrow.”

You enter the front of the manor and stay close to Sollux. You aim your flashlights around. You can see the tracts in the floor where the carpet was laid and paint peeling off in large chunks off the vaulted ceiling. Everything is dripping with moisture. You try not to look too hard at the musclebeast busts holding up the rotting mezzanine above you. Mold is growing in the corners and along the walls. The windowframes are cracked and the glass all gone. 

Sollux casts his flashlight on a musclebeast bust, which is marked with chisel scrapes around the eyes and teeth. “What a dump. Looks like someone looted this place a while back.”

“Why would they go at one of these things with a chisel and leave it in _tact?_ ” you grunt. “I’d smash this thing to pieces if I had to live in this place.”

“Back in the day, this was probably decorated with gold or something valuable and like hell New Jackers are going to let something like a horrible swamp monsters get between them and quick cash.”

“That explains why a lot of the stuff is missing.”

“That or it was auctioned after the bankruptcy.”

You look at the crumbling stairs that lead up to the mezzanine. “Should we go up the stairs? That’s usually where you see ghosts… uh, did anyone die in the house? You said the Psionic was murdered in the goldfish pond. What about Darkleer?”

“Dunno; probably chucked himself off a cliff after the bankruptcy.” Sollux frowns, “And ghosts aren’t real.”

“Yeah. Not real.” you mutter. “But I mean, we’d be sorta… not doing our job if we didn’t check the stairs… or the fish pond. Would the fish even be around anymore?”

Oh gods why did you suggest that? You really hope that fish pond is dried up by now.

“I don’t know where it is! I don’t have a map of fucking place.” Sollux growls and starts to climb up the stairs, which creak with every step. 

You follow after the Sollux; trying to ignore the squeaking. “I don’t know either. We’re probably the first people to come here that aren’t kids on a dare.”

“Probably the first people since our parents.” Sollux mumbles.

You make it to the second floor. Sollux shines his flashlight around the mezzanine. Part of it has broken off so all you can do is go back or forward. You go forward, entering a long eroding hallway with twelve doors. You shine a flashlight on one of the doors and recognize some of the symbols from your history books.

“These are the old hemotype symbols.” you say.

“I thought they retired them?” Sollux asks.

“They did. Social justice assholes said that the old symbols were offensive to the ‘polyblooded’ and hemotype mutants.”

“These must be the bedrooms then.” Sollux says.

“So, which one do we go in first?”

“I don’t—”

You hear a low moan behind you. You turn around and see there’s nothing there, but above you hear an odd scuttling and buzzing. Oh gods. You hope that’s cockroaches or rats. 

“What… what’s that _noise_?” you mutter.

“J-just the house, KK. Stop being so scared!”

Sollux moves to the bedroom closes to you. It looks like someone tried to scratch off the symbol but you still recognize it; the symbol associated with mutantbloods. You don’t make any protest. The Signless and other holy figures are said to be the bane of ghosts after all.

If ghosts were real that is.

Sollux unlocks the door and you chase after the yellowblood, slamming the door behind you. “It’s the wind. It’s the fucking wind and a creaky old house.”

Then you hear a scratching behind the door. Oh gods. Please be a rat. Please be a very large rat with long claws.

“I hope that’s a rat.” you mutter. 

“It’s definitely a rat.” Sollux adds.

“Totally a rat.”

You decide to explore rather than open the door. Sollux shines his flashlight around the room. There are two sections to the room with another door leading into the bedroom. You look around the first room and see the furniture is dusty and decaying. The inside of the bedroom looking like war zone—there are claw marks on the wall and on the ground. The sheets are also a ripped up mess. Besides the daybed is a large armoire and a recuperacoon that looks like it’s been through hell and back.

Sollux walks over to the armoire and opens it. He rustles inside and holds up a wrinkled yellowing picture. “Hey, it’s your grandfather.”

“What?”

You look at the picture. There is a scowling mutantblood sitting by himself, far apart from the others. You recognize the Grand Highblood; that’s the only person that giant purpleblood could be sitting close to a jadeblood you know is Grandma Maryam. You see the twin horns of the smirking Psionic and the Handmaid staring off into space next to him. What puzzles you the most about this picture is the background; with the sky made of steel beams and a crowded city not too far from where they’re sitting.  

 

You frown. “But why are just these four in the picture? Why’s my grandfather scowling?”

Sollux lets you hold the picture as he continues snooping. He pulls the musty sheets off the ripped-up mattress. You feel like you’re in a co-op session of that indie horror game where you’re supposed to explore a mansion and avoid all the monsters while keeping track of your sanity meter. What was it called again? Abeyance? Yes. You are a hundred percent sure that game was called Abeyance: The Dark Descent.

Ugh. Why did you think that? You’re literally in the setting of Abeyance. At least you have a flashlight and a psionic-powered yellowblood at your side.

“Didn’t your grandfather _always_ scowl?”

This picture is giving you a headache and you don’t know why. “That was after Kankri was born. Before he was pretty okay, or that’s what I’ve been told. Kankri is the oldest so I’m not sure.”

Your head throbs. You feel the world briefly spin around you. 

Sollux is back to the armoire, opening other parts of it. “KK? You alright?”

Your head throbs again, this time more powerful. “I… I don’t think…” you frown, “He… he didn’t like him.”

“Didn’t like him?”

“My grandfather and the Psionic. They didn’t like each other.”

“I thought the Psionic and him were friends?” 

You squint your eyes, fighting against the headache, “In the Tome, it says the Signless hid the Psionic from slavers when they were kits. In turn, the Psionic renounced his pagan teachings and became the Signless’s moirail and apostle.”

“This parallels the Helmsman Atramentous,” adds Sollux, “who augmented the hemocaste to make yelllowbloods more of an asset rather than slaves. The Helmsman became an oppressor of the False Emperor just as the Grand Highblood was to the Condesce.”

You raise an eyebrow, “I thought you were an atheist?”

“I’m an agnostic and trust me; once you date Feferi, you’re going to absorb _some_ information about Orthodoxians.”

You look back at the picture. “If my grandfather and your grandfather were friends, they would be standing next to each other.”

“Maybe they had a fight?”

“Maybe. What do you know about your grandfather; apart from the ‘horribly unsolved murder’?”

“Uh, from what Grandma Redglare and Mom said, he was pretty much like Mituna before the burnout. He was logical, always calculating about what to do in a situation but I guess being a yellowblood on a planet where you were doomed to be enslaved doesn’t make you the friendliest. I think the only person he opened up to was your grandfather, but if they weren’t friends…” Sollux scratches his chin, “…maybe Dualscar then, though I don’t know how that moiraillegiance worked.”

“It figures two assholes would attract each other.” you say, “At least this proves that everything that happened in the Tome was a lie.”

“Yeah, but who’d want to make your grandfather into a god he obviously wasn’t?”

“Search me.”

“Phrasing, KK.” Sollux squats down and pulls out the bottom drawer of the armoire.

“Shut up, pailhound.”

Sollux raises an eyebrow. “Huh. That’s odd.”

“What?”

“The bottom of this drawer looks new and…uneven.”

You aim the camera at the drawer, “You think it’s fake?”

“I got a hunch.”

Sollux pulls away the fake panel with ease. The bottom of the drawer is layered with old papers. There’s a chaotic brick of a book that looks ready to burst and the only thing preventing that is the twine holding it in place.

 

You grunt, holding the heavy book. “Thing could kill a fucking cat if you dropped it. What is it? A journal?”

“It must be your grandfather’s.” Sollux gathers the papers, squinting at them.

You undo the twine and carefully open the book. The pages are crowded with writing, faded and of varied penmanship. It’s no use trying to decipher it; it looks like Old Alternian.

“I can’t read any of this.” you say, “I think this book belongs to more than one person. The color’s dulled but I think its flipping between red, black, and… something else.”

Sollux looks at another paper and his eyes widen. “Holy shit, KK. Look at this.” He holds up a paper, scrawled with jagged Alternian text but in the corner is a glittery kiss mark and signature you can’t read. “It looks like a love letter. It could be from Grandma Leijon.”

“But this letter isn’t old. When they came to New Earth, Meulin’s Mom and Grandpa broke up.” you say. 

“Then who…?” Sollux searches through the drawer and picks up a picture. His jaw drops. “No. Fucking. Way.”

“What is it? Show the camera!”

Sollux stands up and shows you the picture. It’s your grandfather and a short seatroll, wearing large goggles and gaudy clothes. Your grandfather’s arm is around her waist and he’s holding her close.

“What in the fuck… _wait_ …” your eyes widen, “The Condesce was… _short?_ ” You pause again and ask, “Wait… the Condesce was with _grandpa_?”

“Seems she was short and had occasional sloppy make outs with your hot grandpa.” Sollux snickers.

You frown, “But if this is the Condesce, why is she so short here when in all the pictures of Old Alternia, she’s this big and imposing figure?”

“KK, there’s no actual pictures of the Condesce from Old Alternia; just paintings and drawings which were probably done by warmbloods. If you’re afraid of getting culled, then you’d probably want to make your fearless conquering leader look good, wouldn’t you?”

“That’s motivation enough I guess.” you mutter, “…do you think she’s my grandmother?”

Sollux rubs his chin. “Well if that’s true, why would your grandfather hate Kankri?”

“Maybe Kankri’s mom was someone else then, like Grandma Leijon, or maybe they broke their flush _because_ of Kankri?”

“He clearly liked you, so it has to be something about Kankri.” Sollux holds up all the papers, “What now?”

“There’s huge chunks of the story we’re missing. Maybe one of the other rooms has a clue as to who killed the Psionic or who my grandmother might be? Or grandfather… I’m not sure who laid Kankri’s egg.”

“I always assumed it was Grandma Leijon.” 

“Everyone assumed that but I don’t know. My grandfather never told Kankri about his egg laying. He hated Kankri and kept a lot of things from him.” You look at Sollux. “Do I look like I have oliveblood in me?”

Sollux scrutinizes your face for a minute, “I’m not a facial expert but you don’t have the teeth for it, the rounded eyes, or rounded face. You sort of have the ‘chiseled’ look you get with a coldblood.”

“Well, I have the vestigial gills to prove I’m Cronus Ampora’s son.” you say.

“You’re also angry.” Sollux grins, “Maybe you got purpleblood in you?”

You stick out your tongue, “ _Ugh_. That means I’m related to the creepy clown posse and probably a thousand others thanks to the GHB.”

Sollux rolls his eyes, “Most of that is just rumors you know. Plenty of purplebloods claim to be ‘Makaras’ when they’re just distant relatives or cousins that came here during the Harrowing. Posers.”

“There’s no way in fuck I’ve got dirty night clown in me!”

“Phrasing, KK.” Sollux grins, “Want to check out the GHB’s bedroom next then? I mean, if you aren’t scared.”

“Why in the hell would I be scared of there? It’s probably just filled with weird clown shit.”

That and you’re pretty sure the Grand Highblood murdered, sexually assaulted, or did a combination of those two in that room.

“What do we do with these papers?” Sollux asks.

“We take them with us of course. Maybe Aranea can translate them since she’s fluent and we can find out what going on here.” you say.

“She’ll know we went snooping here though.”

“What will she care?” You open your backpack and carefully stuff the papers and journal inside. “She wasn’t raised here.”

You leave your grandfather’s suite and walk to the end of the hallway. You approach the door with the purpleblood hemocaste symbol etched on it. You ignore the creaking under you and rustling high above you. When you open the door, something black and screeching fly at you. You scream and cling to Sollux as bats fly out of the room. You squeeze your eyes shut, trying to ignore the screeching of the distressed animals.

“A-are they gone…?”

“I-I think so…” Sollux nervously laughs, “…just bats.”

“Yeah… bats… and not demons…” you mutter.

You enter the room, still quaking. The decorations are what you expected—harlequin statues, bleached skulls and bones of long dead beasts mounted on the walls, along with questionable looking paintings you really hope aren’t smeared with troll blood. The couch is covered in fur and in front of a fireplace is a decaying fur rug. 

“Now _this_ place is spooky.” you say, “I mean it’s the GHB’s place but I expected it to be a lot messier. Like, he’d have the walls smeared with blood and fresh skeletons on the ground. It’s so weirdly neat.”

“Maybe on Old Alternia but he was with Grandma Maryam.” Sollux shines a flashlight on a painting of what looks like Grandma Maryam during her youth… except she’s naked and standing in thigh-deep water, looking at someone in the distance. The paint is dark and of various shades of indigo.

 

You wince. “Think he painted _that_ with his blood…” 

“Well, knock the GHB for being a blood thirsty maniac but he was a good artist.” Sollux says. “There’s two moons in the background. Do you think he painted this on Old Alternia or from his memory?”

You roll your eyes, “Who cares?”

You make your way to the bedroom, which is even more unsettling in its cleanliness. There’s a large, locked metal chest next to a giant bed covered with a furry blanket. The walls are covered with drawings, sketches of hellish clown demons, troll anatomy and skeletons of beasts you’ve never seen before.

“The Grand Highblood. Terrifying troll. Slaughterer of thousands. _Art lover._ ” you grumble, “Go fucking figure.”

“He’s actually pretty good. I wonder if _this_ is where Nepeta gets it from…” Sollux mutters.

“Something’s weird here. He has a bed, a chest but no recuperacoon? I thought older generations couldn’t sleep without sopor?”

“Maybe they moved it, or he never needed it? It wasn’t like sleep was _impossible_ without sopor; it was just really, _really_ difficult.”

Sollux gets the lock open easily and you open the chest… only to uncover an unorganized mountain of drawings and pictures. The yellowblood picks up a picture and winces at it.

He holds it up to you, showing the Grand Highblood as he fucks a considerably smaller troll. “ _Ew_ … are _all_ of these the GHB screwing people? I don’t even _recognize_ any of these trolls.”

You aim the camera and then aim away, groaning, “Oh gods, I’m fucking _blind!_ Sollux, the last fucking thing I want to look at is… is…” You glance back at the picture, “Wait is that… his _bulge?_ That thing’s _ridiculous_.”

Sollux snickers and puts down the picture, continuing to rifle through the chest, “Easy now, KK. It’s just a picture… huh. There’s a lot of Grandma Maryam here.”

“Well she was his matesprit… confusingly enough.”

It’s worse looking at Grandma Maryam; not because she’s nude but the intimacy of the illustrations. Grandma Maryam lying in bed, attempting to cover herself with a blanket, or trying to maintain some modesty. You feel like you’re peeping tom looking in on a couple’s most private moments.

“Uh, KK...” says Sollux.

“Yeah?” you mutter, now looking at a young Grandma Maryam wearing a slave’s collar and sitting at someone’s feet, looking irritated.

“Um, I found a picture of… your grandfather...”

You look up at Sollux, “Yeah, so? What’s the big deal?”

Sollux shakily shows you the picture. “See for yourself.”

You look at the picture and… immediately you turn the camera off. It’s a glossy picture of your grandfather, nude and laying on the ground and his eyes reddened with tears. There are fresh claw marks on his body and you can see the sticky purple residue of genetic fluids smeared along his thighs and mouth. You see a claw holding his face as he glares at the person taking the picture.

“I think the Grand Highblood might be…your grandfather.”

“No.” you growl.

“KK—”

 _“No!_ I’m not… it can’t be true! I can’t have purpleblood in me! How do we even know he fucked the GHB! It could be violet genetic fluid, not purple!”

“If this was a picture of your grandpa fucking someone else, why would the _GHB_ have it and not someone else?”

Sollux folds his arms, “Let’s look at the facts. You have a bad temper and Kankri has an even worse temper, like a purpleblood. The two of you always fist fight and struggle to one-up the other. Your grandfather hated Kankri and the Signless _hated_ the GHB. Kankri’s father must be the GHB, which would make Vantas Senior your _grandmother._ ”

“No! Fucking! Way!” you growl, “Just shut the fuck up! I don’t want to be related to the king of the scary mindfucking clowns! I don’t to be half-clown or part clown or… or _whatever_!”

“Search your feelings, KK! You know this to be true!” Sollux laughs. “What more proof do you need? The GHB fucked your ‘grandfather’ and he had Kankri!”

“Shut up!”

You tackle Sollux, falling on the bed and sending up a cloud of dust. The camera gets dropped on the bed. The bed is large enough for four of you.

Sollux smirks, “Make me _dumbass_! You just can’t accept being part clownfish!”

You dig your claws into Sollux’s shoulder. “Ugh! I am not a fucking clownfish! Shut up!”

Sollux squirms under your weight. “You’re not exactly helping your case here!”

You growl, moving closer to the yellowblood’s face. “I don’t have anything in common with scumbag clowns.”

The air is hazy. You scratch your claw down Sollux’s arm, growling low. You feel a dull heat wash over your body. 

“Right and _my_ grandmother _wasn’t_ a crazy witch.” Sollux shudders and looks up at you, “KK?  You okay?”

You lean in, letting your teeth graze the outer shell of his pointed ears. “S-something… about this place…”

“Are you suddenly possessed by a sex ghost?” Sollux snickers.

“I don’t know… just fuck… I feel hot…”

“Hey. KK. Karkat. _No_.” Sollux sits up and tries to push off, “I already got in a mess with Eridan! I’m not ready to start doing repeat mistakes!”

“Mistake?” You glare at him, “… _what_ mistake?”

The yellowblood’s face pales. “Uh, just…the mistake of having sex.”

You growl louder, showing your teeth. “What did you do you asshole? Did you hurt him?”

“No! Of course not!”

“Did you knock him up?”

Sollux hesitates then.

“ _Well_?”

After several minutes of stalling the yellowblood admits, “We had a little… accident.”

You facepalm. “Oh for fuck’s sake, Sollux! Did you even _think_ of a condom?”

Sollux glares at you, “Did you think of a condom with my sister?”

You wince at that, remembering that you didn’t and Terezi currently has twins… one of which you suspect might be yours.

“I… I thought about it…” you mutter.

“Also, if you’re so pissed off at me, why are you _grinding_ against my bulge?”

“I am not grinding!”

You are though because it feels good and you can’t help it. You’re starting to remember your old kismesistude with Sollux. The smell in the air is unnerving, making you want Sollux deep inside of your nook. You tug at his pants.

“C-come on… take these off…”

“Karkat…” Sollux mutter, his face is flushed with dull yellow, “…you’re not thinking straight…”

“I am… I am thinking straight…” you pant, even though it feels like your head is bobbing in the air several feet away from your body. You numbly pull down Sollux’s boxers, “L-let…let me do this… S-Sollux...”

You kiss Sollux again, muffling any protests. Your movements kick up more dust, adding to the fog that is making everything smell so delicious. Sollux kisses your throat. You slide off your pants. This is gross. This is weird. You’re in an abandoned mansion and you’re going to be fucked on the bed that Kankri, Kurloz, Porrim, Gamzee, and countless others have probably been conceived on. It reeks of dust and a strange intoxicating scent.

Gods, you want to fuck him so badly.

“I want…w-want… want it…”

You mind can’t even put words together. It feels like you’re underwater with how dazed things are. You slide Sollux’s twin bulges out of his circuit themed boxers. You guide one inside your nook. You’re pretty sure you can’t handle two right now.  

“…s-shit…” you slur, “…you really do have _two_ …”

“Captor genes…” Sollux purrs. 

Your own bulge starts tangling with Sollux’s secondary one. It’s a feeling you can’t quite describe but it makes you heated and crave more. You can barely sit still on top of the yellowblood and even after he climaxes, your bulge is still gripping his.

Its several minutes before the smell dissipates and you settle back to reality. “F-fuck…that was…crazy…”

“Y-yeah…” Sollux pants, sweat running down his face.

You glance at him. “We… we didn’t use protection…”

“Like we could afford it.” Sollux chuckles.

You sigh, “That’s true…uh…”

“I can’t believe we just did it on the Grand Highblood’s daybed.”

You smirk, “This has to be at least worth all the dares we ever welched out on.” You slide off of Sollux’s bulge and sit next to him, “I really don’t want a kid though…”

 _Yet another_ kid would be more correct actually.

Sollux sits up and pulls his pants up. “I’m not in heat. Are you…?”

“Mine got erratic but it ended after a while.” you say.

“You should be safe. If the eggs aren’t fertilized by mid-heat, they shrivel.”

“Let’s hope so. I’m a mutantblood and nature _loves_ fucking me over.”

“Well it’s not like I can afford condoms. They charge ten dollars per condom for dual-bulges.”

“Can’t you just buy two condoms and put them on?”

Sollux rolls his eyes, “That never works. The other bulge usually slides it off and neither want to work together.”

You stroke one of his bulges, feeling lukewarm heat wrap around your fingers. “Sounds like your bulges are just as mischievous as you.”

Sollux shudders and inches away from your touch. “Hey! You know Captors have _no_ control when it comes to this!”

“No wonder Captors are so popular.” You roll onto your back, stretching as you breathe in the smell radiating off the bed. “…I don’t know. There’s just something about this bed that makes me want to fuck someone…or anyone. It feels like I could lay on it all day and just have people running a train on me and I wouldn’t care…”

“… _what_?!”

You look at Sollux, “What?”

“Did you just… say that’d let people run a _train_ on you?”

Oh. You did say that. You pretty much forgot Sollux was here once you get on the bed. You sit up and feel the blood rush to your face. “W-what? Of course not!”

“You totally just said that, KK.” Sollux grins, “You got some _serious_ kinks.”

“Shut up.” You pull up your boxers and pants. “Let’s move. There’s more of the manor we haven’t seen yet.”

“Sure. I’ll just keep in mind to tell Dave you want him and his pals to run a train on you for your wriggling day.”

Despite your best wishes, you turn more red. You grab the camera, "No! Shut up!”

“Oh my gods; you’re blushing! Does that turn you on?” Sollux laughs.

_“Shut up—”_

You hear a loud creaking above your head. It sounds like footsteps and wings vibrating.

“Sollux…” you say in a hoarse whisper, “…please tell me that’s not footsteps above us…”

“Okay… I won’t tell you.” Sollux replies with a nervous gulp.

The rustling above you gets louder. You fumble with the camera, “Let’s go before that noise comes our way.”

“It’s probably more bats or a… a raccoon.” Sollux mutters.

“Let’s hope so.”

You add more of the pictures and drawings to all the other documents you have uncovered. No point of letting them rot here once you got them. You leave the bedroom and its enticing scent behind, only to see something briefly darken the window and then move away.

Sollux and you both freeze.

“What in the fuck was that…?” you say in a hoarse whisper.

“Probably just… just a tree branch or…or really fucking big _bird._ ” Sollux mutters. 

“Definitely a big bird.” You swallow, “L-let’s…let’s go someplace else already. Should we go poke around in your crazy witch grandma’s room?”

 _“No.”_ and you see the yellowblood is shivering, “That woman was batshit, KK. Do you even know what a ‘haruspex’ _did_?”

You walk to the door. “Isn’t it pretty much a fortune teller? You pay them a couple of boons for smoke and mirrors while they pretend to speak to the dead.”

“No, KK,” Sollux sighs, “A haruspex communicates with the supernatural but they do it using guts and blood. Usually you sacrifice wild animals and trolls and grubs that were going to be culled anyways. My grandmother was one of the most powerful haruspex on East Beforus. That’s why she made a living travelling abroad with the circus.”

“Fine, we’ll go check on _your_ grandpa.” you step into the hallway, “Maybe he had more porn than the GHB.”

The Psionic’s room has a bolted lock on it so Sollux has to undo that. The inside of the room is neat with everything arranged in perfect rows from smallest to biggest. The shoes on the rack next to the door are the best example of this. There aren’t any pictures on the wall or any decorations; just work tables with old rusting technology sitting on it. Apparently the rats have made it made their home. There’s also a hornet nest taking up an entire corner of the room and the window is broken open.

You look at the shoe rack. “Holy fuck. Your grandfather was _totally_ obsessive compulsive.”

“MT’s the same on his lucid days. Doubt there’s anything really interesting here though. Grandpa died way before this place was abandoned.”

You look out the window and see you’re only a few feet from a muddy pond filled with lily pads.

“Is that the goldfish pond where they found him?”

Sollux walks behind you. “Think it is.” He wrinkles his nose, “Looks like Meenah’s goldfish pond.”

“Meenah’s goldfish pond?”  You snort, “You mean the _sinkhole?_ ”

The surface of the water trembles; something is moving under the surface.

“Sollux… what do you think would be in that pond?” you mutter.

“It could be a goatdille...” Sollux says in a nervous whisper.

Bumps and ridges disturb the surface, poking through and moving toward the waters’ edge.

“How big is a goatdile…?”

A black claw slides out of the scummy water, tangled with seaweed.

“Big… heard they can get to about seven feet long.”

You see the claw help a hulking body out of the pond, covered in layers of mud and weeds. It looks humanoid to you but with the darkness it’s hard to tell. You really hope it’s just a goatdile covered in a gunk. You really hope it’s not a moving corpse or a hungry ghost. You don’t scream, but you do squeak in fear and keep the camera on the pond (though you’re pretty sure you’re shaking too badly to get a good shot).

Sollux grabs your arm and pulls you from the window. “Okay, time to go! Let’s go look in my grandma’s room! Probably a lot more interesting shit in there!”

You don’t protest and leave the room. In the hallway, the rustling and creaking are more prominent. Sollux and you approach the door marked with the rustblood hemocaste symbol.

“Y-you should just calm down, Karkat…” Sollux mutters, “M-my grandfather got his arms cut off…and h-he wasn’t buried here…”

“I-it could be a spirit still. H-he did die in violence…” you mutter.

The room is a wreck. The walls and couch looks like they’ve been through a few wars before the decay. The walls are covered with rough paintings of leering demons. You try not to look at the Prince of Pitch and Lies but no matter where you go his eyes seem to follow you. Near the window are candles sitting in a perfect circle, surrounding a board marked with Alternian symbols. On top of the board is a blade smeared with fresh blood.

“S-someone…someone still _comes_ here…”

“I-I can see that…” Sollux says with definite frightened quiver in his throat.

You shine your flashlight on the board. “W-whats this? It looks familiar…”

“It’s a _fuji_ ; a spirit board.” Sollux whispers.

“A spirit board? You mean like Ouija? What’s the difference?”

“An Ouija board is something you buy at a toy store for stupid ass slumber parties. _Fuji_ is the real thing; what they used in East Beforus to divine the future. They’d drink blood and eat mescaline-laced food...”

Sollux carefully avoids crossing in the circle as he approaches the window. “Only the tennis courts from here.”

“I can’t get over our grandparents playing fucking _tennis._ ” You try to imagine the GHB playing tennis and can’t; you just end up giggling.

Sollux snickers. “No, worse. I heard they played _badminton_.”

“Oh gods! That game’s for little dainty _girls_!” You laugh and move from the circle of candles. You lean against the wall and see how many minutes of footage you have left. 

Sollux pretends to serve a birdie. “Oh dear, Dolorosa! What is the motherfucking score again? Heavens, I must have forgotten!”

You laugh harder, “The only way the GHB would ever play badminton is so he could see the Dolorosa in a skirt! _Ha!”_

There is a loud screeching behind you and the wall you’re leaning on falls in. You go tumbling over.

“No, he played it because he was wearing the ski— _KK!_ ”

Sollux rushes over, only to trip from the sudden plummet and fall on you. You grunt and push the yellowblood off of you.

“Fuck, I thought you didn’t weigh a thing! You’re heavier than you look!” you growl.

“I’m not _that_ heavy! You’re just a weakling!” Sollux staggers to his feet and grabs your hand, helping you stand, “You okay? Where are we?”

You look around the new area, which is a narrow hallway filled with cobwebs. There are stars descending further into the darkness. You pick up your camera but see your flashlight is gone. “Secret passageway, I guess.”

Sollux shines his flashlight down the passageway. “And you found it by using your ass. Way to raise the bar, KK.”

“My ass is not fat!”

“I just saw your fat ass moving in bed, KK. I think I’m allowed to judge the size of it.”

“It is not fat! It’s just bigger to yours by comparison because you’re skinny!” you grumble and slowly step down the stairs.

“I’m not _that_ skinny.” Sollux follows you closely. “Wonder where this goes?”

“Probably not anyplace good if it’s connected to the Handmaiden’s room.” You smirk, “What’s wrong, Sollux? Scared I’m leading you to the sacrificial chambers?”

Sollux rolls his eyes as he steps down the stairs, “Yeah, _riiiiiiiaaaHHH_!”

“W-what?!” is your question before Sollux slips forward and you both inelegantly barrel down the stairs. You bump and crash, descending until you hit the ground. By the time you reach the bottom you’re badly bruised. You sit up and look over at Sollux, who has fallen next to you.

“H-holy _fuck_ …” you mumble, “You alright, Sollux?”

“Yeah…” Sollux sits up and spits out a white fang with a spray of yellow blood, “Think I knocked a kit fang loose.”

You smile weakly, “You haven’t hit your adult molt yet so you’re gonna lose them anyways.”

Sollux reaches for his flashlight and turns it back on. He shines his light around for a few minutes and immediately drops it. You feel your stomach sink deeper into your body. Old Alternian is scrawled on the walls along drawings of mutated trolls and demons. There is a platform sticky with (what you pray is not) blood and on that platform are decorations depicting hell and the Prince of PItch and Lies. 

 

You grimace at the smell permeating the chamber. “It stinks in here… like blood.”

“C-can we go now… please…?” Sollux chokes. 

“O-oh come on, Sollux…i-its fake. It has to be. N-no one’s been in here f-for years.” You mutter. You really hope they are.

You see your camera has slid closer to the platform. You walk over and slip on…oh gods. Please be juice. Please be wine…

“ _Karkat_ ,” Sollux says, “I have my hand…in _fairly_ _fresh_ _fucking_ _blood_ right now!”

You take a deep breath, “O-okay. Maybe we should go. Right now.”

You see a door in the corner of the room and walk over to it with Sollux closely following. You enter another hallway and at the very end is a door that leads into a bedroom with wall scrolls displaying the God of Blood and Haze with a variety of lovers.

Sollux makes a face. “…so, the sacrificial chamber has a _love_ nest attached.” 

“Interesting. And weird. But mostly interesting.” you say.

Sollux wipes his hand off on the sheets. “My grandmother was _batshit_.”

“Most definitely.” You point the camera to a wall scroll of the God of Blood and Haze with trolls of every hemotype scrambling over each other to be with the lustful deity.

Sollux rolls his eyes, “Ugh. The God of Lust and Haze or whatever. Stupidest idea for a god _ever._ ”

You sigh, “There are worse names for a god. At least the Eldritch One sounds _imposing_.” You look at the bed, “Looks pretty cozy though…”

“KK,” Sollux says, “No way in hell I’m fucking you or anyone in proximity of that bloody chamber.”

“I’m not thinking about fucking!” you growl.

“I can see your bulge moving around.” Sollux snorts. “Don’t you have a kismesis?”

“Strider’s my matesprit.”

“You act like kismesistudes.”

You walk to the door and try to ignore the feeling in your bulge. You turn the rusty knob. “We aren’t. I’m flush for him. Stop being a pailhound.”

“I’m not a pailhound. I have a kismesis.”

“With my brother that you knocked up. Let’s just see where this leads out.”

You open the door and walk into a room that’s dark and muddy. There’s a chill in the mildewed air.

“Are we in the basement?” you ask.

“Think so. Smells like ass down here!” Sollux grumbles and shines his flashlight on the wet and moldy walls.

“Let’s hope nobody ripped up anything in the walls though.” you say. 

“Why?”

You look at Sollux, “Uh, Sollux? _Asbestos_?”

Sollux frowns. “…let’s just find a way out of here.” He shines his flashlight on some old metal stairs leading up to a door high up. “Here we are.”

Your eyes aren’t so much on the stairs but on a large steel door next to you. “Is that a vault?”

Sollux shines his flashlight on the heavily bolted door. “Looks like it.”

You approach the vault. “Secret highblood gold?”

“Do they even have gold? Is that a stereotype I’m not aware of?” Sollux asks. “Whoever went through the trouble to install this must have had something valuable.”

“If its gold we’re splitting it fifty-sixty.”

“Bullshit! I’m the one opening this bitch of a vault.” Sollux tosses you his flashlight and turns his attention to the vault. The yellowblood grunts and works his psionics at the steel door.

“Yeah, but it was my idea to come to this place in the first place.”

“Like you're the first person who's been here.” Sollux grunts, “Good thing this vault isn’t psionic-proof.”

The vault opens up and the stink of rotten eggs wafts out. You gag and peer inside the vault, shining your flashlight and hefting the camera. A skull looks back at you with a rat moving around the eye socket. You scream and this time you drop the flashlight and fumble with the camera.

Sollux jumps away from the door and clings to you. “Shit…shit that is really…”

“That…that’s a skull…” You gulp, “That is…definitely a…dead body here…” 

You bend down, shakily picking the flashlight out of the dark mucky water and shine it in the vault. It’s a skeleton wrapped in decaying clothes, the bones have a slightly green coloring to them and look fragile as if simply touching them would reduce them to dust. The horns are poked full of holes as whatever bacteria began to eat away at them, leaving them badly damaged. The inside of the vault is dry though, reinforced with cement.

“The horns are pointed like an arrowhead…” Sollux stammers.

“Blueblood…” You shut off the camera and squint at the skull. There’s a bullet fragments on the temple and the skeletal hand is holding a gun. “…Sollux, didn’t you say Darkleer disappeared…?” 

“Y-yeah…” A pause before he mutters, “…oh _gods._ ”

You look at Sollux, “S-sollux, calm down… it’s just a dead body. Not like it can move…”

The yellowblood is still shaking. “Y-yeah but…we just f-found m-maybe Horuss’s dead _father_ …”

You touch his hand. “H-hey… calm down. You’re not alone. I’m here.”

“Y-yeah…” Sollux says with a frightened mutter. “L-let’s just go now…”

You nod and have Sollux close the vault, out of respect for the dead and to hold some of that decaying stench inside. If there was any gold in there, you aren’t  looking for it. You slosh through the basement and head to the stairs.

You both ascend it in silence and when you’re halfway up, Sollux’s shaking seems to ease away. Only when you see Sollux is calmer, you say, “Should we tell Horuss and Meulin we found their Dad?”

The yellowblood reaches the top of the stairs, “I-I don’t know… m-maybe…”

He turns the knob and the door opens with a creak. You peek out and see you’re back in the first room again. The swamp lusii seem louder now and more agitated.

“…I’m just tired right now.” Sollux mutters, “Ready to call it a night and take a long shower when I get back home.”

You enter the room after him. “Same. These jeans are pretty much ruined.”

That’s when you see something dart across the window; something large with giant wings.

“S-sollux…” you mutter.

“Y-yeah…?”

“That is too fucking big to be a bird.”

“I know.”

The creature is still lingering by the window. Its wings are beating loud, filling the air with an unearthly hum. This is not good. You saw Jeepers Creepers as a kid and this is giving you flashbacks. The winged thing outside crawls through the broken window, coughing and making a garbled noise.

You drop the flashlight and camera as Solllux and you both scream.

“AHHH! NO NO NO GET AWAY!”

“DON’T EAT ME!”

The large winged creature calmly walks over to you while you scream like two little girls. “What are you kids doing here?” it asks.

“DON’T TAKE MY EYES! THEY’RE NOT PRETTY!” you scream.

“What?” The winged creature sighs, “Guys, relax! I’m not a monster! Guys, _stop_ _screaming_! Its me! _Rufioh_!”

You open your eyes and look at the winged monster. Shakily, you pick up the flashlight and shine it on the winged creature. Its Rufioh, splattered with mud and dust, wearing a vest and thick hiking boots.

“Wh…what…?” Sollux mutters.

Rufioh raises an eyebrow, “What are you two doing here? Aren’t you a little _old_ for dares?”

“W-we found a dead body in the basement, Mr. Nitram, and I wanna go home and I’m scared…” you whimper.

Rufioh sighs. The larger troll walks over to you and picks you both up. He carries you to the door. “For fuck’s sake; you guys are practically grown and you still get into mischief.” He pauses, “Wait, a dead body?”

“Yeah… it’s probably Darkleer...” Sollux mutters, “I-in the basement vault.”

“I’ll pass that onto Meulin then. You boys would get in trouble for being here.” Rufioh chuckles, “And I take all that moaning and gasping I hear earlier were you two as well?”

“Not _all_ of it…” you mutter, feeling like a kit again. This is embarrassing beyond words.

“We were trying to prove there weren’t ghosts in Darkleer Manor,” Sollux sighs, “Now we found one thing there _definitely_ is: a dead body.”

“And some bats…” you mutter.

“Can you not tell anyone about this…?” Sollux asks.

Rufioh smiles, “Not a soul.” 

* * *

Rufioh flies you back to his mobile hive and honestly it’s what you need. Flying with Rufioh is always a lot of fun. You were always envious that Tavros’s Mom cool could fly too. When you arrive at the Nitram mobilehive, you end up sitting on the couch and drinking hot cocoa. Sollux is more exhausted than you are and curls up on the couch asleep. You wonder if he was more scared of corpses than he’d like to admit.

“You should catch a shower, Karkat,” Rufioh says, “You smell like mold and genetic fluids.”

Your face reddens, “Uh, y-yeah…should probably shower.”

“Second door to the right.” Rufioh informs you.

You make your way to the bathroom. You strip off your clothes; your pants being the most difficult to remove since Sollux’s genetic fluids act like glue. You shower and scrub away any yellow and red you see. When you’re done, you don’t want to put on your still sticky clothes. You tie a towel around your waist and leave the bathroom.

You approach Rufioh, carrying your dirty jeans and shirt. “Uh, do you have any spare clothes?”

“I’m pretty sure Tav’s stuff can fit you. Room’s right across from yours.”

“You don’t think copp—” You correct yourself, reminding your brain that you’re talking to Tavros’s mother. “— _Tavros’s_ clothes might be tight on me?”

Rufioh smirks, “It shouldn’t be a problem. You both have a little more than junk in your trunk. Room’s right across from you and there should be spare clothes in the closet.”

“My glute is not _big_!” you grumble and walk into Nitram’s bedroom. The bedroom smells like machine oil, cigarettes, and genetic fluids. Wonderful. It smells like the room of a robot hooker. You change into shorts that are too tight and a shirt that’s too loose. You walk to Rufioh, who is lighting up a blunt.

You sit next to him, “Is there any reason your son dresses like this?”

Rufioh inhales the smoke, “Not my business.”

“Where _is_ Tavros?” you ask.

Rufioh shrugs. “Search me. His clown’s been here most of the week and suddenly they both took off earlier. Didn’t leave a note so I have no clue where he went.” But despite the casual sound of his voice, you can tell he’s on edge. 

You quickly change the subject, “What were you doing at the manor?”

“I grow my tax-free weed in the attic.”

“Isn’t that illegal?”

“Isn’t _trespassing_ illegal?”

“Why would you grow it there? You didn’t grow up in that shithole.”

“No, but everyone thinks the place is haunted so the only people that bother going are idiot kids on dares; no offense.”

“None taken. So you don’t believe in ghosts?”

Rufioh smiles, “When you live in the swamps, you get used to all sorts of creepy sounds.”

“So you didn’t see the bloody chamber in the basement?”

“You mean the chicken blood?”

“Chicken blood…?”

Rufioh chuckles, “Damara only sacrifices animals. I see her there too.”

“It was _chicken_ _blood_?”

“Yeah. Duh.” Rufioh stands, “What? You think people are being killed in there today like some bad horror movie?”

“I don’t know. Maybe people were killed there a long time ago like the Psionic. And then we found the corpse…”

“Listen; most of the things you’re scared of are really just in your head. When you know something has happened in a place, it just gives your brain more reasons to feel fear.”

Rufioh picks up Sollux, smiling. “Come on. I’ll drive you boys home.”

You stand up. “Thanks. You’re a pretty kickass Mom. It’s sort of surprising your son turned out to be like, uh, an asshole.”

Rufioh forces a smile. “He’s not an asshole. He’s just… going through a lot of things right now.”

You follow Rufioh out of the mobile hive and to his hovertruck parked on the lawn.

“Uh,” you say, “can I ask you a question? About my grandfather?”

Rufioh shrugs as he places sleeping Sollux in the truck. “Not sure if I’ll have an answer.”

“Do you… know if the Grand Highblood is my grandfather?” you asks.

Rufioh pauses and then nods. “…most likely he is.” You frown and the older brownblood shrugs, “You can just look at Kankri’s face and tell. Kankri has the same facial features as Kurloz; the pointed ears, the height, the bad temper, long nose, almond shaped eyes… Kankri says he doesn’t know but I think he’s in denial.”

Rufioh rolls his eyes as you climb in the truck after Sollux. “Gods know Kankri’s been around enough purplebloods to start noticing the similarities.” he says.

“What do you mean?”

“Uh,” Rufioh gets into the driver’s side. “let’s just say Kankri wasn’t as celibate as he thought he was in high school.” He starts the engine, “Where am I dropping you boys off?”

“I better stay with Sollux. I think I gave him enough nightmares to last the week.” You say.

“Sounds good.” Rufioh leaves the driveway, “If you want to know more about your Dad, Aranea’s the one to talk to.”

It’s not long before you arrive at the Captor home.

“Have a good night, boys.” Rufioh says.

There’s still worry in his eyes. He’s definitely wondering if Tavros is going to come back home or not. Without thinking twice, you lean past Sollux and kiss the older troll on the mouth. Rufioh looks back at you, stunned.

You smile. “Cheer up, alright? I mean, what do you have to be miserable about? You’re like one of the sexier parents in the park?”

You see copper bloom under Rufioh’s dark skin. He smiles, “How long have you been wanting to do _that_?”

“Not long! It came out of the blue!” you lie, because you were one of the many who had a crush on Nitram’s hot Mom.

Rufioh smirks, “Alright, Karkat. Get to stepping before you start forgetting Sollux entirely and follow me back home.”

“I’m going, I’m going…” you say playfully as you drag Sollux out of truck.

You wave awkwardly as Rufioh drives off. In the back of your mind, you’re confirming who you’re going to harass when your next fertility cycle comes along. Still carrying Sollux, you walk to the door of the mobilehive and knock. Eridan answers it, wearing a bathrobe.

“K-Kar?” Eridan stammers.

“Hey, bro,” you say, “we need to talk.” 


End file.
